Sing Hannah’s Song Through Tears
“After they had eaten and drunk in Shiloh, Hannah rose. Now Eli the priest was sitting on the seat beside the doorpost of the temple of the LORD. She was deeply distressed and prayed to the LORD and wept bitterly. And she vowed a vow and said, “O LORD of hosts, if you will indeed look on the affliction of your servant and remember me and not forget your servant, but will give to your servant a son, then I will give him to the LORD all the days of his life, and no razor shall touch his head.”
1 Samuel 1:9-11, ESV
A woman named Ruth Stull said, “If my life is broken when given to Jesus it’s because pieces will feed a multitude while a loaf will satisfy only a little lad.”[1] This has been a prayer for my life, that the pieces of my life, however broken, would be an offering to the Lord. When I found out that my first daughter had a condition that would not allow her to live once born at 20 weeks pregnant, I decided to start a blog as a way to process my tears, let others into our journey of celebrating our daughters life, and also update all of the people caring about us and praying for us in one place. In that season I felt I had very little to offer others except my tears. I felt much like the woman in Mark 12:41-44 who had only two pennies to offer the Lord in the midst of her great poverty.
And yet, Jesus says of her to His disciples who were watching, “Truly, I say to you, this poor widow has put in more than all those who are contributing to the offering box. For they all contributed out of their abun- dance, but she out of her poverty has put in everything she had, all she had to live on” (Mark 12:43b-44, ESV). I began to give the little I had, which didn’t feel like a whole lot in the midst of my deep grief, and God began to multiply the little I had exponentially. Truth- fully, the goal was never to minister to many through our story, but to offer my tears and wrestling and trust that God would do something with it.
When Hannah brought her pain to her husband and her husband replied with less than comforting words (see 1 Samuel 1:8), she responded not with words of her own but with action. When we read next, “After they had eaten and drunk in Shiloh, Hannah rose” (1 Samuel 1:9, ESV), it’s not simply conveying that she got up from the table and moved on. Those words were a picture of action in that culture.[2] And what was her action? Going to the temple of the Lord, in all of her distress and weeping bitterly. As Hannah offered the little that she had in that temple before the Lord, what poured out of her was a petition that was a reflection of a heart submitted to God. It was not just any vow that she references with the words, “I will give him to the LORD all the days of his life, and no razor shall touch his head.” That’s called a Nazarite vow; she promised that whatever child God would give her would be given back entirely to Him (see Numbers 6:1-21). She was essentially saying “God, I want a son for You, not for me.”[3] When she brought the little she had, when she gave the Lord the desires of her heart, she could not have known how God was going to unleash freedom in her heart from the pain of her suffering. The catalyst for Hannah’s tears was her suffering, and the first thing we see her do with those tears is bring them to the Lord.
Lord, most days it feels as though I have so little to offer You. I wonder what You can do in my life and through it in the midst of my deep pain and grief, and the tears that come so frequently. But I want to give You what I have; it isn’t much but I believe that just as You did something with Hannah’s tears, meeting her in her deep pain so You will meet me in mine. So I give You my disappointment, I give You my tears, and I give You the unmet longings of my heart. Thank You that my tears do not go unnoticed by You. Thank You that You keep track of every one of them (Ps. 56:8). I want to honor You in the midst of my pain and questions. Would You take the little I have to offer You and multiply it both in my heart and in the lives of those around me?
Spend some time offering your tears, your pain, your unmet longings, your disappointment to Him. Be honest and pray also for humility. He already knows what the depth of your heart is thinking and feeling, and it’s only when we bring that pain to Him in need that we can begin to see Him heal, restore, and renew.
[1] Elisabeth Elliot, Passion and Purity (Grand Rapids, MI: Fleming H. Revell, 1984), 41.
[2] Timothy J. Keller, “Hannah’s Prayer,” Gospel in Life, accessed October 15, 2017, http://www.gospelinlife.com/hannah-s-prayer-8872
[3] Ibid.
- Lindsey
Hope Mom to Sophie and Dasah
Hi! I’m Lindsey. I live in Orlando, Florida with my stud of a husband Kevin. We have 3 incredible children, Sophie and Dasah who now live with Jesus and Jaden who came into our lives through adoption. We have a very energetic golden retriever and love living in the sunshine state. I get to spend my days loving on my son, investing my life in college students here through a non-profit organization we’re a part of and when I have time, writing on my blog about the hope that doesn’t disappoint!
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