Danica’s Story
In the midst of my darkest valleys, our faithful God has shown me His grace in the most surreal ways that I have ever experienced.
As a young wife, I was so excited as I anticipated the moment when I would be blessed with a pregnancy. My husband and I prayerfully considered our readiness for parenthood and trusted that the Lord would provide a child in the near future. Shortly after beginning to mentally prepare for motherhood, our first baby came into our lives. I became pregnant with our baby in April, 2019 and carried her for eight months on this earth. I embraced the pregnancy and was overcome with joy as I awaited her birth.
On Christmas Day, as we celebrated the birth of Jesus Christ, we found out that our precious baby’s birth would not take place and that she had gone to heaven that day. I remember the feelings that flooded my mind so clearly as my husband and I entered those emergency room doors late that night. The medical staff that was working that day consisted of people who were already in our lives. I believe that God placed those specific people there who already cared for us and that He prepared this support for us for a reason.
A sinking feeling filled my stomach as I awaited what I knew would be a monumental moment in my life. The rest of that night consisted of several medical professionals frantically moving the doppler around my stomach and fighting back tears as they stared at a motionless ultrasound screen. The moment that I heard that my baby had no heartbeat, I knew that my husband and I had a long road ahead. I remember clinging to him and repeating over and over again that God was in control and that He would get us through this. I am absolutely certain that God’s peace filled me in those moments. Without His strength, I would not have gotten through those next few days.
Early on Boxing Day morning, my husband and I, along with his parents, my mom and stepdad, and all of my husband’s siblings entered the hospital where I would be induced. I was quickly admitted to labour and delivery, and the induction procedures and medical testing began. As more family came and went, incredible events took place over the next three days. We witnessed family coming together to support us and each other. We spent time in prayer with our believing family and friends, as well as loved ones who do not yet know the Lord. It was incredible to watch God at work within those hospital room walls. Many people recognized His hand in our situation and acknowledged that we were getting through it all solely because of His grace.
On December 29, early in the morning, I delivered my daughter’s lifeless body. After dreading those moments for a few days and doubting the possibility of getting through it, God’s love filled that room and He held me close as my body did what it was designed to do. That morning will forever be one of the most painful and humbling experiences of my life. It will also always remind me of the surreal peace that comes from our Heavenly Father and the solidity of His promises.
Elianna Jessica Fehr went to be with Jesus on such a special day of the year, and the love that He has for all of us will be forever more clear to me because of my daughter. I know in my heart that God loves Elianna better than I can ever imagine. Although I grieve the absence of my baby here on earth, I celebrate her place in heaven and rejoice as God reminds me of His perfect love for her. Elianna will never suffer. She is free from the curse of sin. She will never turn away from the truth. She is in the best place that a parent could hope for their child to be. She is safe. She is loved. She is made perfect in His grace and mercy.
On January, 2020, we held a funeral for Elianna. We put careful consideration into the music, words, and Scripture that was shared, with the desire of bringing glory to God. Many people came to her funeral and the gospel was clearly shared within the service. Many of our loved ones do not yet know Jesus, and we prayed that they would see His hand in our lives that day. I do not remember very much of the funeral, but I do remember being somewhat shocked at the peace that still surrounded me that day. I spent the majority of her funeral service praying for those in attendance and desperately asking God to open their hearts and minds to the truth. God worked in many ways during those hours, and many of our loved ones acknowledged the role that our faith played in those hard times.
God continues to give me all that I need each and every day. My relationship with Him is better than ever before. He has taught me that, in Christ, I can get through every trial that may lie ahead. I miss Elianna deeply, but God is faithful in His promise to bring me comfort and remind me of truth when I am filled with lies. By clinging to Jesus and bringing my struggles to God in humility, I am able to see my Heavenly Father for who He is.
One day, we will be with our daughter again. Until that day comes, I know that God has me here for a reason, and I am thrilled to be given the opportunity to share the testimony behind her life with any who will hear it.
- Danica Fehr
Hope Mom to Elianna
My husband and I were married in December of 2016. We were blessed with our first child in April 2019 and I carried our baby for eight months. At 36 weeks gestation, on Christmas Day, our beautiful baby girl went to be with Jesus in heaven. I am so blessed to be Elianna’s mom and have seen God do wondrous works in the last few months. My hope is that the story of my daughter’s life will draw others near to God and that all the glory will be given to Him.
We would be honored to share your story as a Hope Mom on our blog. On Saturdays we feature Hope Moms’ stories in order to showcase God’s faithfulness even in the midst of such deep sorrow. If you would like to have your story shared on our blog for this purpose, learn more and submit here.
