Why Hope Mommies is Different

I feel the need to reiterate the mission of Hope Mommies.

There are too many support groups out there that do nothing more than support laziness in healing (ie: “Do whatever is best for you/makes you feel better/etc.”), and Hope Mommies is not one of them. A support group should be about coming alongside a deeply wounded, theologically shattered person and pointing them to the Truth. Because no matter who you are, or what your belief system is, losing a child will radically alter what you believe about God—whether you think you believe in Him or not. And we believe that what you believe about God is the only thing that matters when your child dies.

I recently read a quote by Nancie Guthrie (who has lost two children) saying,  “Truth soothes our fears, changes our feelings, and shapes our thoughts. The truth is what we need most when the hurt is the deepest.” This couldn’t be more, well, true for a bereaved mother. Truth is the only option for healing after infant loss. Truth is the only way you will ever find hope, healing, happiness and joy. Truth is the only hope for your marriage. Truth is the only way you will get to see your sweet baby again.

So what is the Truth?

Jesus Christ said in John 14:6, “I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father but through me.” If you are searching for healing after infant loss, what you need is Christ—nothing else will ultimately heal you. Hope Mommies mission is to “Bring the hope of Christ to bereaved mothers and families experiencing infant loss.” So what is the hope that Christ offers?

SALVATION FROM YOUR SINS

And if you’re surprised that I’m bringing up sin in the middle of grief, please hear me out. In the beginning of time, when Adam and Eve sinned in the garden by rejecting God’s rule, sin entered our world and has remained ever since. Sin is what introduced death and suffering and loss into the world, and more acutely, into our lives. The sad thing is, sin is what you and I do every day. Sin is ultimately a rejection of God—rejecting and rebelling from His will, and choosing to value and worship ourselves and what we desire above God. I am not saying that your sin caused your baby’s death; simply that death exists because sin does as well.

Because we are all sinners—imperfect before a Holy God—and because God is just, He cannot allow sin to go unpunished. But He is also merciful! In His mercy, He sent His perfect Son, Jesus, to die in our place, creating a way for us to be covered and made right before God. Do not think that Jesus dying was easy, simply because He was also the Son of God, or that God wasn’t as heartbroken and devastated as you are when His Son also died—for the sake of someone else.

Why is there hope in this? Because without Jesus, you and I would be condemned to an eternity of torment, pain, and suffering—yes, hell. Because of Jesus, we have been granted eternal life in paradise, where there is no more suffering, tears, or sadness. Only joy and love can abound in heaven. Jesus opened the way for salvation to all mankind, even to our babies. The Bible makes it clear that we are sinners from our mother’s womb. Our babies are not in heaven because they were perfect spiritually; they are in heaven because of what Jesus did on the cross. They recognize and worship Christ as their Savior, and I am sure that they long for you to do so as well.

SALVATION FROM FALSE DOCTRINES THAT WOULD LEAD YOU FURTHER INTO DEPRESSION AND BITTERNESS

Jesus said that He is the truth. That means that every other self-help book, support group, or philosophy that promotes healing in anything other than Jesus is false, and ultimately leads you further away from healing.

There are many people who believe that children turn into angels when they die. Believing that places your adoration on your child, not on God. Believing that they are watching over you takes away from God’s sovereign care of you. Trust me, you do not want your baby to be an angel. If you even look at a sample of Scripture that talks about angels, you would realize how wonderful it is that they are still human in heaven!

CHRIST OFFERS THE HOPE OF RENEWED JOY AND PEACE HERE ON EARTH

If you accept the above tenets as fact—that Jesus is the only Truth and hope for eternity, and that knowing Him will keep you from bitterness and despair—then the only plausible outcome of this faith is encouragement, joy, and peace. It takes time—sometimes years—to trust and believe that God is good, that His Son is enough, and that heaven is real. Healing takes time. But healing will never come if you do not uncover the Truth.

So I encourage you to seek out God’s truth. Buy a Bible and read it (Lamentations, 2 Corinthians 15, the Psalms, and Romans are wonderful books to begin with as a Hope Mom). And when you struggle with a Scripture, talk with God about it. Talk with other Christians about it. I encourage you to to push through your anger and hurt to find a deep, abiding faith that transcends emotions and is based on truth. Remember, truth is what shapes our emotions.

Here is what one of the Psalms promises that God’s Word does: 

• Keeps us from sin (Psalm 119:11)
• Strengthens us (Psalm 119:28)
• Provides comfort in affliction (Psalm 119:50)

That’s just a small, small portion of what knowing God and believing His Word does in your life. So, dear one, my question for you is: what do you believe?

This post originally appeared on the Hope Mommies blog on August 13, 2012

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Erin Cushman is the founder of Hope Mommies. She is married to Blair and has four children: Gwendolyn, who has been with Jesus since October 20, 2010, Malacai, who is three, Gemma, born in June 2015, and Baby Cush. She loves photography, gardening, cooking, reading, playing with her children, and especially loves when all those things combine.

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