When Words Fail to Express the Depth of Your Sorrow…
God’s Word speaks thoroughly and abundantly into every season of the heart. As we study His Word, we learn that within its pages are found the ultimate source of comfort and peace for the sufferer. In this series, we will seek to carefully and compassionately apply these ancient, scriptural truths to feelings and experiences that are common in grief.
“I’m praying for a miracle!”
“God is the ultimate healer, and I’m praying that He chooses to heal your baby.”
“Have faith! Sometimes the doctors get these things wrong.”
“Nothing is impossible with God!”
I heard phrases like these, and Scripture taken out of context, from well-meaning people almost daily. They were words that were meant to bring comfort, but instead brought pain and confusion.
By God’s sovereignty and kindness, I spent my first year as a nurse working on a high risk antepartum floor. I had seen first hand the harsh reality that comes along with having a diagnosis such as Trisomy 13. It’s not that I didn’t believe God could heal Isaac. I absolutely believed in the healing power of God, but I also knew what I was seeing on the ultrasound. My baby was extremely sick. His heart, brain, and kidneys weren’t developing in the way that a healthy baby’s do. I knew the very real possibility that God would chose to heal him in heaven and not on this earth.
There were many times that I didn’t know what to do or how to respond when I was told to pray harder or to have more faith. I wanted to scream, “BUT WHAT IF GOD DOESN’T HEAL ISAAC?” I felt guilty and questioned if I really was lacking faith. Was I being punished for something I did wrong? Maybe I wasn’t praying enough or using the right words? Did my baby’s fate fall on me praying perfectly eloquent words?
“For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God,and are justified by His grace as a gift, through the redemption that is in Christ Jesus,whom God put forward as a propitiation by His blood, to be received by faith. This was to show God’s righteousness, because in His divine forbearance He had passed over former sins. It was to show His righteousness at the present time, so that He might be just and the justifier of the one who has faith in Jesus.”
-Romans 3:23-26
Because we are descendants of Adam, we are all living under the effects of the fall and must endure pain, sickness, and death. No one is exempt from this, but because of God’s mercy and grace, we have hope. Hope not just for where we will spend eternity, but hope for each and every day. It’s this hope that sustains us when we feel like we just can’t go on another minute. It’s this hope that continually reminds us to turn our eyes to the cross.
“Likewise the Spirit helps us in our weakness. For we do not know what to pray for as we ought, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groanings too deep for words.”
-Romans 8:26
At some point in my pregnancy, I became acutely aware that I didn’t have the “right” words to pray, and I never would. It wasn’t my responsibility to say the perfect prayer or to convince God to heal my baby. After all, God is God, and He cannot be convinced or coerced. I become emotional thinking about it even now, eight years later. It felt as if a huge weight had been lifted off of me as I began to meditate on Romans 8:26. I started to truly believe that all I had to do was come before my heavenly Father and the Holy Spirit, the helper that had been sent for this very purpose, would intercede on my behalf. Oh! What a comfort it was to be reminded that I wasn’t alone!
“And He who searches hearts knows what is the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for the saints according to the will of God.”
-Romans 8:27
The grieving process involves a wide range of feelings and emotions. In my personal journey since losing my precious Isaac, I have walked through seasons of paralyzing fear, sadness, and anxiety. There have been days when I felt like even the most simple, seemingly mundane tasks were too much for me to accomplish. Reading my Bible and coming up with the words to pray seemed impossible. Maybe you can relate, but don’t lose heart, sweet mama. When you put your faith in Christ, you are given the Holy Spirit as your Helper. You can find rest in the fact that even if your words are lacking, God’s will for your life has already been accomplished through the blood of Jesus.
“And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to His purpose.”
-Romans 8:28
Because our God is a good God, even when it’s difficult to see and hard to feel, His will is always for our good and for His glory!
- Kacie Hunt
Hope Mom to Isaac
Kacie lives in Austin, Texas, and is the mommy of three precious daughters on earth and a sweet baby boy in heaven. She loves reading, coffee dates with her husband, Jonathan, and traveling with her family. She is passionate about helping women grow in biblical literacy and theology and is the cohost of the Adorned Podcast. She also blogs at www.kaciehunt.com.
We would be honored to share your story as a Hope Mom on our blog. On Saturdays we feature Hope Moms’ stories in order to showcase God’s faithfulness even in the midst of such deep sorrow. If you would like to have your story shared on our blog for this purpose, learn more and submit here.
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