When Life Leaves You Feeling Weary

God’s Word speaks thoroughly and abundantly into every season of the heart. As we study His Word, we learn that within its pages are found the ultimate source of comfort and peace for the sufferer. In this series, we will seek to carefully and compassionately apply these ancient, scriptural truths to feelings and experiences that are common in grief.

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After losing my baby at 18.5 weeks to Trisomy 18, I struggled with sleep. I would frequently find myself awake until 4:15am (coincidentally the time Baby P was born). I would lie awake, either having flashbacks or chasing a long trail of google searches and articles in hopes of finding answers. I struggled with worry and anxiety. All of these are normal responses to grief, and all of these are mentally, physically and spiritually exhausting. Rest is something that is hard to come by in grief, but it is something that abounds in Christ. 

“Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.”
Matthew 11:28-30

Rest is actually a huge prevailing theme throughout the Bible from beginning to end. One of the Lord’s most frequent commands in the Old Testament is “Honor the Sabbath and keep it holy.” The Sabbath refers to the seventh day of creation when God rests from His work of creating the entire world. God then, “Blessed the seventh day and made it holy” (Genesis 2:3). This is the first time the word “holy” shows up in the Bible. No other creation on days one through six was deserving of this distinction. 

By using this word signifying sacredness, and setting the seventh day apart from the rest, God tells us just how important the Sabbath is to Him and ultimately for us. Very early in the Bible, God mandates that His people also rest on the seventh day.

“Therefore the people of Israel shall keep the Sabbath, observing the Sabbath throughout their generations, as a covenant forever.”
Exodus 31:16

Many of the Jewish faith continue to keep the Sabbath today to varying degrees. Some may close their businesses on Saturdays, some refrain from using electricity, and some even limit the amount of steps they can take on the Sabbath. As a Christian, I’ve always wondered what honoring the Sabbath looks like in my faith. Is it going to church once a week? Is it having the day off from work or school to relax? These things are all good and rejuvenating for the mind, body and soul, but what is really at the heart of Sabbath rest? Why did God place such importance on this day of rest from the very beginning? What exactly does sabbath mean? 

In Hebrew the word literally translates “to cease.” This meaning changed the way I understand sabbath. I know what it means to rest; to lay on the couch, to sit on a porch swing outside, to slow my pace down. But what does it mean for me to cease? I believe the fullness of this answer lies in Jesus.

How is one supposed to cease? How do Christians “honor the sabbath and keep it holy?” A friend once said that at the point of belief, a Christian enters the Lord’s sabbath rest (Matthew 11:28; Hebrews 4:3). That is the end of striving, the end of working to be good enough, the emptying of oneself. It’s the filling up of the Holy Spirit, and the ultimate communion of the soul with the Creator. This occurs every day for those who believe Jesus died for our sins and rose again. I believe that every day I should aim to empty myself of myself and fill up on God. Cease thinking about my needs, worries, wants and to-do lists and commune with the Creator.

“For we who have believed enter that rest… So then, there remains a Sabbath rest for the people of God, for whoever has entered God’s rest has also rested from his works as God did from His.” Hebrews 4:9-10” 

Hebrews 4:3, 9-10

When Baby P was born, I felt pretty emptied of myself, and not necessarily by choice. There were so many questions in my mind. My soul was weary from carrying the heavy burden of grief and bitterness. My body was tired and needed to heal. I didn’t have much left in me. 

But when we are weak, He is strong. 

I can lay my quest for knowledge and my hurts down at the feet of Jesus, and I can still my restless mind and know that He is God. He holds all the answers and all the strength, and because I believe in Jesus, He holds me in His arms as well. I don’t have to carry this burden of grief alone because He is way more capable of dealing with my grief than I am. In fact, He already has! Jesus defeated the problem of death and separation when He died on the cross. My friend, it is already finished!

To truly rest you have to trust. 

I am often unable to sleep on the plane or on a road trip with a pilot or driver I don’t know and trust. I can sleep just fine if my husband or my mom were driving the car, but with anyone else—no sleep. The same is true in life and faith. When we truly trust the Driver, the Author of our life, we can rest easy knowing He is all capable of navigating the winding journey back home. 

Experiencing grief or turbulence in life can test our trust in God. I know it did mine. At the very least, it presents new questions to ponder and a shift in the way we view life. But through the wrestling, through the restlessness, remember Jesus’s gift of rest—a holy, sacred, and necessary gift that was given from the beginning of time.

When I enter Jesus’s rest, I cease striving to be good enough. I no longer need to know all the answers. I no longer have to work for my salvation, because I know He already secured it. When I believe in Jesus, I don’t have to climb mountains to talk to God, because His Holy Spirit is in me here and now. I can rest in what He’s already done. 

My will and my desires move closer in line with His will and His desires. My grief will not overtake me because He fights for me. I need only be still. So when you find yourself weary and unable to give anymore effort—when the weight of grief feels too heavy to bear—rest in Jesus. Put your faith in Him and find rest for your soul, not just once a week, but for all eternity.

Yes, ’tis sweet to trust in Jesus,
Just from sin and self to cease;
Just from Jesus simply taking
Life, and rest, and joy, and peace.
Jesus, Jesus, how I trust him
How I’ve proved him o’er and o’er
Jesus, Jesus, precious Jesus
O for grace to trust him more

-’Tis So Sweet to Trust in Jesus

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Sarah Padilla is a mom, wife, and dance teacher from Magnolia, Texas. She’s been married to her high school sweetheart, Kyle, for nearly eight years. They have a two-year-old son named Kirk and two babes in heaven.

We would be honored to share your story as a Hope Mom on our blog. On Saturdays we feature Hope Moms’ stories in order to showcase God’s faithfulness even in the midst of such deep sorrow. If you would like to have your story shared on our blog for this purpose, learn more and submit here.

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