The Things We Say
A month or so ago I had an insightful conversation with a good friend about the things people say accidentally, and usually very innocently, that hurt our feelings. I remember after my daughter fell asleep that the phrases, “took my breath away”, “you’re killing me!” and other such (ridiculous) innocent collections of words pierced me every time. At times it was difficult to bite my tongue to keep from lashing out, “Of course it’s not killing you!”
When discussing this with my friend, who has had deep wounds but of a different nature, it has made me wonder how often I have innocently phrased things that have hurt those around me. Do I joke or casually reference death, divorce, abuse, neglect, or other arenas of emotional struggle? I truly hope not!
On one hand, it has taught me to hold my tongue and extend grace to those who are hurting me unawares. And on the other, it has convicted me about whether or not my words are full of kindness and understanding toward others. Can you relate? How have you dealt with the things people say? Have you caught yourself saying hurtful things unintentionally?
Christin Burris
January 9, 2013 (10:59 pm)
I can totally relate to this post! It was really hard for me to hear people say, “you’ll have another one” or “there will be more” etc. I didn’t want another one or more…I wanted Jackson. I received some very good advice from my mom’s friend who lost her son at 21 years of age. She said people will say the stupidest things, but you have to forgive them…not for them, but for you. Most of the time they don’t even realize what they said or understand how it has hurt you. That advice has gotten me through so many situations without me becoming bitter towards the person that said something hurtful.