The Heart of Fear

Fear. It’s a funny thing. We talk about having a healthy fear of things being good. Knowing not to touch a hot stovetop or a toddler who is timid about just jumping in a pool is a good, healthy fear. Fear is an asset in dangerous situations. But fear can cause us to sin and keep us in bondage. So let’s talk about fear.

During my pregnancy with my son, I had no fear or reason to have fear. I already had two easy pregnancies resulting in healthy daughters, so I assumed it would be the same with my son. That was not the case as he was stillborn at 37 weeks due to a 1 in 10 million amniotic band cord “accident.”

Fear didn’t keep me from trying to get pregnant again, but it did try to overtake the pregnancy. I had a new reality and, I’d like to think, a healthy fear I couldn’t take anything for granted until I held my baby girl. I spent my pregnancy seeking the Lord in order to strengthen my faith and not allow Satan to enslave me to fear.

One of my anchoring verses is Joshua 1:9 and if you’ve read any other blog I’ve written, you probably noticed it woven throughout my stories.

This is my command—be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or discouraged! For the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.
Joshua 1:9

I love the way God answers his instructions to not be afraid or discouraged by saying He is present—everywhere. If He is with us, we do not have to fear.

Psalm 27:1 says that the Lord is a fortress protecting us from danger. As a mom who has experienced loss, you might be wondering why he didn’t protect your child. I’ve wondered the same, but I know that God protects my heart and soul from fear and unbelief. What if God is saying He is our fortress and protector regarding matters of the heart? In Psalm 27, David goes on to say that even if his enemies attack him, he will remain confident. Confident the Lord is his light and salvation.

The Lord is my light and my salvation—so why should I be afraid? The Lord is my fortress, protecting me from danger, so why should I tremble.
Psalm 27:1

During my pregnancy after loss, every time the baby didn’t move as often as I thought she should, I felt a twinge or didn’t feel a twinge, I battled fear. Every time I went to the doctor and they put the Doppler on my belly, I held my breath waiting for the whoosh whoosh of a heartbeat. I choose faith over fear. I knew the Lord was with me in the room in that moment – no matter what sound I did or didn’t hear.

Don’t be afraid, for I am with you. Don’t be discouraged, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you. I will hold you up with my victorious right hand. … For I hold you by your right hand- I, the Lord your God. Don’t be afraid. I am here to help you.
Isaiah 41:10, 13

What an amazing picture! God holding our right hand with His right hand in response to our fear. In the Bible, the right hand was a symbol of close friendship with God. A sort of sharing of the hearts. Chaim Bentorah explains it this way, “The ancients believed your heart was found in the palm of your right hand. So to be held in the right hand of God was to be held close to his heart.”

I love the way, God’s Word counters fear with a positive.

For God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, love, and self-discipline.
2 Timothy 1:7

Instead of fear, God gives us love and power and self-discipline. It might seem odd to have self-discipline listed with love and power but I think it is fitting. I often need the Lord’s help to have self-discipline to be still so I can tap into His love and power.

Again, God meets our fear with His strength.

I mentioned earlier how I had to fight to not let fear overtake me. I think the most important thing that helped me was knowing God loved me. If God loved me and I loved Him in return, I knew I’d be okay no matter what came my way.

1 John 4:7 says, “Dear friends, let us continue to love one another, for love comes from God.” And then it goes on to say in verse 18, “Such love has no fear, because perfect love expels all fear.” But wait, there’s more to this! Verse 16 says that God is love.

So, love comes from God and God’s perfect love expels or casts out all fear.

And three pages over in my Bible (and yours too,) is one of the best verses on how to approach fear as we journey down this road of grief and child loss.

Don’t be afraid! I am the First and the Last… And I hold the keys to death and the grave. (Revelations 1:17)

Jesus came to give His life and unlock death and the grave so we can have assurance of being with our babies again.

Shelly D. Templin is an author, speaker and blogger that shares a message of hope – with humor. She has three daughters, a son-in- law, and a granddaughter. Shelly lives in Texas with her husband, Jack, of 29 years and their two dogs.

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