The Gift of Intimacy with Christ

“Oh, this thing of keeping in constant touch with God, of making Him the object of my thoughts and the companion of my conversations, is the most amazing thing I ever ran across. Now I like the Lord’s presence so much that when for a half hour or so He slips out of my mind—as He does many times a day—I feel as thought I had deserted Him, and as though I had lost something very precious in my life.”
-Frank Laubach

I stumbled across this quote the other day and was reminded of how incompletely I know God and the fullness of His presence. I want it to be so clearly evident in my life that I know God. I yearn for my knowledge of God to be marked by grand thoughts of His work and character, zealousness to accomplish His will, boldness to proclaim His love and salvation, and a deep delight in His presence.

A quick search through Scripture puts meat on the bones of what it means to know God.

“And this is eternal life, that they know you, the only true God, and Jesus Christ whom you have sent.”  John 17:3

“But let him who boasts boast in this, that he understands and knows Me, that I am the Lord who practices steadfast love, justice, and righteousness in the earth. For in these things I delight, declares the Lord.” Jeremiah 9:24

After reading through these and many other passages, several things stuck out to me:

• Knowing God involves listening to His Word and receiving it as His Spirit makes it alive in my heart.
• Knowing God is recognizing His nature and character as His Word reveals it, and as His work in my life and in the lives of those around me demonstrates it.
• Knowing God is willingly and joyfully delighting in what God has called me to do, and doing it wholeheartedly.
• Knowing God is humbly living under the great love that He has poured out on me and allowing that love to motivate me to draw into deep fellowship with Him.

But here’s the thing, intimacy with God is forged in the fire of adversity. It is through trials and hardship that we go deeper in our walk with Christ. When writing to the believers in Philippi, Paul reminds the church that it is by sharing in the sufferings of Christ that we gain the surpassing worth of knowing Him more intimately.

Indeed, I count everything as loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord. For His sake I have suffered the loss of all things and count them as rubbish, in order that I may gain Christ and be found in Him, not having a righteousness of my own that comes from the law, but that which comes through faith in Christ, the righteousness from God that depends on faith—that I may know Him and the power of His resurrection, and may share His sufferings, becoming like Him in his death, that by any means possible I may attain the resurrection from the dead.
Philippians 3:8-11

When I look back at the days and weeks of early grief following each of my losses, I could clearly see how this had been true in my own life. As I clung to Christ in the midst of my sufferings, He gently ushered me into deeper intimacy with Him. On the days when I wanted to simply retreat into myself and push against this closeness with my Savior, the Spirit’s gentle whisper reminded me of why everything in my being ought to fervently long to know God.

“Child, you are known.”

I was brought to tears as the full weight of that truth began to spread itself into every corner of my heart.

I am known by God.
I am known by God.
I am known by God.

God knew me and loved me deeply even though He saw the fullness of my corruption. There was never a moment when His attention was distracted from me. His care for me never faltered. This is unfathomable knowledge. All my knowing of Him relies upon and is motivated by His initiative in first knowing me. Knowledge that is expressed through His loving, choosing, redeeming, calling, and upholding me.

If I wanted to experience greater intimacy with Christ, I needed to allow God’s knowledge of me to penetrate my whole being. I didn’t have to live in fear of the journey that would come from truly desiring to know God. That spirit of fear is not of God, and His perfect love has the power to cast out my fear. So, with my whole heart I cried out, “God, I want to know you even as I am fully known!” And I didn’t regret it.

I pressed in to the Lord in my grief. I rested in the wonderful truth that I was fully known by Him. My intimacy with Him deepened and deepened as I allowed His Word to speak into my sorrows. His character and nature were revealed to me in greater measure as He carried me through the crucible. As the flames of affliction burned away the anger, fear, and bitterness that had settled in my heart after the deaths of my babies, I found that what was emerging was a greater love for God and joyful delight in His Word.

This increased intimacy with Christ is for you too, momma. You are perfectly, completely, unchangeably known and loved by God. Let His knowing of you motivate you to know Him more. Draw near. Press in. Fall into the embrace of the One who is carrying you through the fire.