THAT time of year

It’s that time of year again.

The time of year when every commercial is painted in pinks and yellows and shares great gift ideas for moms. The time of year when preschools everywhere invest in finger paint and glitter glue as crafts are carefully created for mothers. The time of year when churches stop services to acknowledge the love of mothers, perhaps giving each one a rose to say thank you.

The time of year when, for many women, they are honored and celebrated and find joy in the blessings of motherhood.

But, it’s also the time of year when the pain of infertility can run so deep, you want to run and hide.

It’s the time of year when those who have lost their own mother, feel nostalgia and sadness for what has come and gone…and for the one they dearly miss.

It’s also the time of year when mommies who hold a child in their heart, but not in their arms, are devastated that the world celebrates, while they mourn.

And, as with any holiday, it is difficult to acknowledge a day like this–a day that often holds so much pain for broken mommy hearts.

This year is my twelfth Mother’s Day to be honored by my precious children, but only my fourth Mother’s Day to really GET the pain that can reside alongside the happiness in a day like this.  And it is with new eyes and a new heart, that I now see what Mother’s Day can be…that such a happy day for many, holds sadness, anxiety, and emptiness for others.

So, as Hope Mommies, what do we do on a day like Mother’s Day?

What does it look like to HOPE–truly hope–deep in our hearts, without bitterness or discontentment taking over, even in the midst of commercials, glittery flowerpots, and roses at church?

Do we hide?  Do we stay home from church?  Do we find our own way to just “get through the day”?

I know it’s easy to want to do those things.  But, I believe, with God’s help, we can do more than that for this broken world that we now understand better than ever.

Sure, there is a place for our pain, and our grief, and even our anger that Mother’s Day holds sadness for us.  It is okay for us to long for our sweet ones who are now in heaven.  It is understandable to want others in our lives to celebrate us as mothers to those precious babies on a day like this (and we deserve that!).

But, what if we looked at Mother’s Day in a different way?

What if we decide that because we know the pain so well, we will be God’s comforters on this day?  Sure, not all of us are in a place where we can do that quite yet.  We need to be the ones comforted!  But, for others of us, who have walked through this pain and have received healing on some levels, we are called to “comfort others with the comfort we have been shown”.  As strange as it may sound, we have been given a gift of suffering!  A gift of perspective.  A gift to see the world as God sees it, with brokenness and pain and forgotten people, who desperately need someone who will say “You matter today”.

You see, God says that when we suffer loss, we are more like Christ, and we receive gifts of understanding!  How true that is!

We know the sadness others feel, and we get this unique opportunity to reach out to others to make sure they are not forgotten.

And you want to know a little secret I’ve discovered?

My healing—and I mean, deep-in-my-heart-and-soul-healing—has come from ministering to the broken of this world.  Through my loss, I have been absolutely broken for others’ losses.  And, as a result, I began reaching out to others, especially at times that I knew would be most painful for me.  And, in a way only God can do, He took my feeble efforts, and multiplied them, not only for the people I was serving and loving and comforting.  But, also for ME and my own healing and joy and contentment.

God says in Isaiah 58 that when we serve the poor and forgotten, the hurting and sad, the oppressed and the weak, “your light will break forth like the dawn, and your healing will quickly appear.  Your righteousness will go before you, and the glory of the Lord will be your rear guard.  Then you will call, and the Lord will answer!  You will cry for help, and He will say ‘Here am I’.”

I absolutely believe this is true.  When you use your pain as a launching pad for greater service to others, healing happens in your heart and He says “I’m here with you” in a powerful way.  I can’t explain it.  It just happens.

So, this Mother’s Day, why don’t we be on the lookout for others who are hurting like we might be?

Don’t hide.  Get out in the open.  Allow God to use you to come alongside someone who is crying through the rose service at church.  Visit a nursing home and love on the elderly mothers who have lost children, or who are alone on this special day.  Drive to an area of your city where homeless might reside.  Pass out roses to the women there and tell them they matter.  Deliver a hope box to a local hospital.  Write a letter to a Hope Mommy you know has been struggling.  Deliver cards or faith-filled books to a children’s hospital, where mommies are living with fear and anxiety over their sick children.  Honor the mothers in your own family, maybe even the ones who haven’t been as kind to you as you would like.   Talk to the cashier at the grocery store who is working on Mother’s Day and ask her if she is a mom.  You never know what healing may come from you just acknowledging her.  Find a way to bless an orphan or a child in foster care, who long for a mother of their own on a day like this.  Reach out to a woman you know has miscarried.  Acknowledge their pain, and honor their little one.

There is healing power in reaching out.  And, not just for the one who will be receiving it.

There is healing power there for us as well.

Dear Father, as Your children, we boldly come before Your throne of grace, that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need. Father, we know that Your ears are open to our prayers.  We ask that You listen, O God, and answer us!  We are calling out for Your rescue.  You redeem our lives and give us peace. You promise that when we cast our burdens on You, You give us rest.  You sustain us.  You never let the righteous fall.  When we are afraid, we will put our trust and confidence only in You.  We will not fear.  You know every sleepless night.  Each tear and heartache is answered with Your promise.  What would we become if we did not believe that we will see Your goodness in the land of the living!  We wait and hope for and expect You.  We give You all our worries and cares, for You are always thinking about us and watching over what concerns us.  By Your grace, we are standing firm, trusting You, and remembering that others are suffering too.  Allow us to be Your hands and feet to those who are hurting, as You fill us with the kindness of Christ.  We serve because we have the promise of Your eternal glory.  We walk in hope, because of the gift You gave us in Jesus.  In His sweet name we pray, Amen!  (based on prayer from Prayers That Avail Much, by Germaine Copeland)

Chelsea Jacobs has been involved in Hope Mommies from its earliest days, and is blessed by the women whom she calls sisters and friends through this ministry.  She is mother to six children, including three biological daughters, her precious Hope Baby, Chase Allen (born into heaven in September 2009), her adopted son, Gabriel Mugisha, from Rwanda, and her “adopted” young adult college student, Claver (also from Rwanda).  She homeschools her daughters, and enjoys every blessing of her two adopted boys as well.  She and her husband, Mark, run a nonprofit ministry for orphan care and education, which began after their son’s death, and is named in his honor:  His Chase Foundation.

You can follow Chelsea’s adventures at www.hischase.org or on                                                                                          her personal blog, https://mcjacobsjournal.blogspot.com.