Strength in the Sorrow: 2 Corinthians 12:9

God’s Word is sufficient for our every need, even those that follow the heartbreaking loss of a child. In this series, Hope Moms share about the way God, through His life-giving Word, has provided them with the strength, comfort, encouragement, and hope they needed as they walk through the valley of loss and grief.
“My soul melts away for sorrow; strengthen me according to Your word!” Psalm 119:28

Apparently, I like to have my life in order.

At least, that’s what I’ve discovered has been true of me since my journey of grief and motherhood began.

In order to protect myself from future heartache and be “done” with the hard parts of grief, I wanted to know what was coming so that I could respond or react a specific way emotionally.

I wanted to control my grief. I wanted to control my life.

After receiving his terminal diagnosis, I carried my oldest son, Jacob, for five months. Just a few days after he died on his birthday, I experienced my first intense case of anxiety. I was suddenly afraid of my husband leaving the house to go run an errand for me—what if he never came back? I began to fear bad news at every phone call—what if I was about to lose everyone in my life? I especially feared the future—what if it would always end in death?

As time went on, my fears and anxiety morphed as I continued to take steps of growth in my grief. Life at first seemed to get harder before it eased up at all, and I remember saying to my husband many times in the midst of the pain, “I don’t know how to keep doing this.” I wanted the answers to all of my unknowns. Under the surface of it all, I wanted control.

I thought that if I could just somehow figure out all the answers to my questions and fears, if I could take all the right vitamins (as if that would save any future babies), grieve exactly the “right” way (at least, what I perceived to be right), and wrap my mind around my grief, then I would protect myself from future heartache and pain. Essentially, I was looking towards tomorrow and hoping that I could receive now everything I would need to get through my days.

A wise woman spoke into my life around the time I was questioning all of this, and in the midst of  her encouragement and poignant words, she said this to me: “God has given you enough grace for today, Meg. But He hasn’t given you tomorrow’s grace yet.” I don’t remember what she said afterwards, but she hit the nail on the head.

He hasn’t given you tomorrow’s grace yet.

In 2 Corinthians 12:9, Paul writes of his own encounter with Jesus as he begged Him to take away the thorn in his flesh. Three times he pleaded! But the Lord responded to him saying, “My grace is sufficient for you, for My power is made perfect in weakness.”

God assures us—His grace is sufficient for us. His power is made perfect in our weakness. But how can this be? You see, when we surrender to Him, soak up the grace that He offers, and rest in Him, then we are able to experience His power. His grace is sufficient for us, and His power is made perfect in our weakness.

I don’t know where this post finds you today, but I want you to know that the God of the Bible promises His faithfulness. He promises His care for you. He promises His grace.

Are you anxious for the future? Wondering if you’ll ever carry healthy children again? Battling the unique tension of carrying a baby who is sick as long as God gives you with him or her? Looking at your own life wondering if you’ll always feel this way?

God’s grace is sufficient for you.

Are you struggling with where you are in your own processing of grief, wishing you were at a “better” place than you are? Ready to rush through the pain of mourning and get right back to dancing again? Wading through deep, deep waters, seemingly with no end in sight?

God’s grace is sufficient for you.

Do you feel at your wit’s end? Are you painfully aware of all you lack? Battling feelings of guilt, inadequacy, or hopelessness for whatever happened to your sweet baby? Are you angry? Overwhelmed?

God’s grace is sufficient for you.

He has given you all the grace you need for today—and more. He has come to bring you life, and life abundant (John 10:10). Today. And although He hasn’t given you tomorrow’s grace yet, He will.

If God was willing to lose His Son so that you might live—dying the death that you deserved and rising again from the grave, all to cover you with sufficient grace for the debt you owed in your sins and trespasses—how much more will He continue to show you His love now, in this moment when you are battling fears and anxiety? He conquered death for you. His grace for today is sufficient. And tomorrow’s will be too.

His grace will be there when you get there. You’ll cross those future bridges when they come.  But today, today you can rest in what He’s given you now. Trust Him to give you what you’ll need for tomorrow, and rest easy knowing that He’s watching, that He cares, and that He’s near, He’s offering His grace and yoke to you—offering for you to come, and rest (Matthew 11:28). 

“My grace is sufficient for you, my child,” He says, “for my power is made perfect in weakness.”

My husband John-Mark and I live in Richmond, VA, where we spend our days with college students, sharing the grace and truth that Jesus offers as He transforms their lives – and ours. I am a big fan of warm weather and the beach, meaningful conversations with those I love, and my family. These days I am in a new phase of my motherhood as I invest most of my time caring for my youngest, a sweet baby girl. The greatest honor of my life is being a mom of two with babies in Heaven.

We would be honored to share your story as a Hope Mom on our blog. On Saturdays we feature Hope Moms’ stories in order to showcase God’s faithfulness even in the midst of such deep sorrow. If you would like to have your story shared on our blog for this purpose, learn more and submit here.