Sharing His Love on Mother’s Day

The weightiness of Mother’s Day was lost on me until I lost my son. I never considered how hard the day could be for those that longed for a child but experienced infertility. I never gave thought to how those that no longer had their child to hold might feel forgotten. The first Mother’s Day after my son passed away was incredibly heavy. It had only been two weeks since we had laid him to rest, and I was emotionally and physically exhausted.

From the moment the sun began to shine through my windows that morning, I wanted the day to be over. I felt like a shell of a mother, and the last thing I wanted to do was surround myself with others that were celebrating the day with cheerful lunches and fun family outings. I was stuck between knowing I needed to celebrate the children I had with me, and desperately wanting to grieve the ones I had lost. My instinct was to hide. I could have easily pulled the covers back over my head and withdrawn completely, but I knew I was allowing the darkness of my grief to consume me the longer I stayed in the quiet of that room. With that realization, I pulled myself out of bed and set out on a small mission: to share joy.

“Sorrowful, yet always rejoicing; as poor, yet making many rich; as having nothing, yet possessing everything.”
2 Corinthians 6:10

Although my heart was broken, there was still joy. I had a deeply rooted peace in the truth that, despite my current sorrow, God was still good and worthy of my expression of joy. I might not have felt like celebrating my own motherhood that day, but I could sure celebrate other mothers in my life that had shored me up over the last few months. I went to the nearest grocery store and stocked up on flowers. I arranged and rearranged them until they were just right, and wrote notes to each of the recipients, thanking them and noting why I thought they were such wonderful mothers to their children. I spent the rest of the morning delivering them to friends and family. It was good for my soul to be creative and to serve others by encouraging them in whatever way I could. It allowed me the opportunity to take the focus off my pain and focus on love.

The following year, I didn’t feel as much dread as Mother’s Day arrived. I was determined to not hide this time despite the ache I still carried in my heart. While I was at church preparing the classroom for the preschoolers, a sweet woman came in hugged me tight. She told me she had been praying for me and knew that today was probably a hard day for me. When I heard those words, my eyes filled with tears. With her simple act, she had shown such kindness by acknowledging my pain, showing compassion, and praying for my peace.

Several Mother’s Days have come and gone since my son passed away, each one bringing a new lesson: joy, compassion, forgiveness, and humility just to name a few. I have learned to always choose joy. Despite my present circumstances, I always want my witness to speak to the joy and peace I have through Christ Jesus and the Holy Spirit’s indwelling. My inner joy allows me to rejoice in His truth and goodness. But on the hardest days, my rejoicing doesn’t need to be in the form of corporate worship. My private expression of joy as I obediently serve and encourage others is also a perfectly acceptable form of worship. I have learned to acknowledge hard dates and occasions in the lives of others. I am very intentional in my prayers for them and make every effort to let them know that I recognize their pain— either by text or card, or in person.

This Mother’s Day, I will celebrate each life He has given to our family and thank Him for the pain that drew me closer to His side. Serving and loving others has perhaps provided the most healing in my journey, so I encourage you to take this day to rejoice and love others. If you feel like you can’t face the world, know that is okay. Spend the day in quiet communion with Jesus. Ask Him to fill you with His joy and reveal ways you can show love to those around you. I want to keep my eyes on love this year and I pray that you are able to do the same.

Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, give thanks in all circumstances, for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.
1 Thessalonians 5:16-18

Megan Kelley is married to Jake and the mother to seven babies. Her first child she lost to miscarriage in September of 2009. She then had two children, Hunter (7) and Preston (5). After Preston, she lost her next two to miscarriage in March and August of 2014. A month later, she found out she was pregnant with her son, Thatcher, who was diagnosed with Edwards Syndrome. He went to his heavenly home shortly after he was born on April 17, 2015. She was blessed with her latest addition, Abigail Quinn in July of 2017. She loves painting, gardening, cooking, reading, and playing with her kids at the park.

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