Nelly’s Story

“God doesn’t make mistakes” was a simple comment written on Facebook to offer condolences for the loss of our firstborn son, Corbin. I struggled to understand that. How can a good God allow this to happen? I reverently questioned, Why? How could this happen? But God…I prayed for this baby.

I met the love of my life and about one year after dating we were married. He is my best friend, my partner in life, and the one that God made for me. We prayed about the best time to start trying to conceive. In our hearts, we felt like enjoying our marriage for one year would be best, then we would try to conceive shortly after.

Then one day, it happened. A positive pregnancy test on an early Saturday morning of November 16, 2013! We were ecstatic! We got down on our knees and thanked the Lord for His goodness and His quick answer to our prayers in granting us the gift of our child. My pregnancy was going great, no issues and no complications. We found out we were expecting a boy and everything just felt like it was falling into place. We prayed for this baby to be happy and healthy and anticipated the arrival of Corbin Noah Alvarez for July 27, 2014.

On the late evening of March 16, 2014, I suddenly began to bleed and we didn’t know what was happening. We were scared and fear began to make its way into our minds and hearts. Once we made it to the hospital, they discovered I was going into premature labor. The doctor wanted us to make a decision in either having surgery to place an emergency cerclage to try and save Corbin or we could do nothing and lose him. This caused so much panic, shock, and fear.  My husband and I were left speechless and tried to process what the doctor wanted us to decide.

It was then that a nurse asked me these questions: “Do you love your son?” and “Are you willing to do whatever it takes to save him?” Of course the answer was “yes!” So we had an emergency cerclage placed. The doctors gave us little hope that it would work. I was 21 weeks along and this surgery is typically done early on. The doctors told us that if he was to be born prior to 23 weeks the likelihood of him surviving would be very small due to his lungs not being fully developed. After my OB performed an emergency cerclage, I was placed on the strict bed rest at home.

Those days were full of fervent prayer by my husband and I. He never left my side. For that, I am eternally grateful. We felt so much love during this time by acts of kindness that our family and friends showed us while I had to remain on bed rest. On Tuesday, March 25, 2014 we went to see a perinatologist to determine what the status was. I was admitted to the hospital due to my water bag bypassing the cerclage. Thankfully, Corbin was still alive and healthy, however I had to be admitted to try and reach viability which was 23 weeks.

Our family believed, prayed, and trusted that Corbin would arrive happy and healthy. Over the next couple of days in the hospital I prayed and waited. I was prepared to remain there and on bed rest as long as I needed to if that meant Corbin was safe. Each minute to me was a precious miracle and I praised God for everyone of those minutes that passed where I knew my Corbin had life.

On Thursday, March 27, 2014 I delivered Corbin. My water broke and he was ready to meet mommy and daddy. Corbin was 22 weeks and 4 days along. Our son lived 2 hours and 3 minutes. I am eternally grateful for that time. We bathed him. We sang to him. We prayed for him. He was surrounded by our entire family and now he joins the cloud of witnesses in heaven. My son is with the One who loves him more than I.

In those moments of admiring him and witnessing all of his features I was still in complete shock but I knew I had to soak it all in. The pain of giving him up to the funeral home, planning a funeral, and coming home empty-handed was unbearable. Many moments of prayers would just be tears, but I knew the Lord understood as the Holy Spirit interceded for me.

Loosing Corbin allowed me to feel God’s comfort and peace in a way that I had never experienced. I learned what it meant for a community to be used as God’s hands and feet as we were surrounded by people who loved on us and prayed for us. Corbin’s life has taught me to treasure and cherish every single moment, to be grateful when I’m on the mountaintops and when I am in the valley.

Although loosing Corbin was the most painful event in my life, I know that my tears, sadness, and mourning was not wasted. God continues to mend and restore those broken pieces. I am almost three years away from my grief and I still have those waves of missing him intensely. Corbin is now a big brother to his little sister Elaina who was born in May 2016. My pregnancy with her had many moments of fear. I wondered if she would survive and if she would be born prematurely. God used those moments so that I could continue to praise him and give him the glory for every week that I carried her. I am still in awe that I am a mother to a living child and that she is home with us. Elaina or any other children to follow will never replace Corbin; he will always be the missing puzzle piece from our family and we always hold a special place for him.

I pray that our children will remember their brother in heaven and hold fast to the promise that Jesus gives us of salvation. Heaven is a real place and now that Corbin is there it has become tangible for us. I trust in God’s Word and the promise that I’ll be reunited with Corbin one day…and what a reunion day that will be.

– Nelly

Hope Mom to Corbin Noah

We would be honored to share your story as a Hope Mom on our blog! Every Saturday we feature a Hope Mom’s story in order to showcase God’s faithfulness even in the midst of such deep sorrow. If you would like to have your story shared on our blog for this purpose, learn more and submit here:

My name is Nelly Alvarez. I have been blessed to be joined in holy matrimony to my best friend and partner for life. We have three children which include our hope baby, Corbin Noah. Corbin was our firstborn son, who was born at 22 weeks and 4 days gestation on March 27, 2014 due to me having an incompetent cervix. My sweet son lived for 2 hours and 3 minutes and I cherish those sacred moments of his life. Because of Corbin’s life and passing, my whole world was shaken. I didn’t know women who had faced infant loss. I was the first in my family. Soon after Corbin’s passing, I received a Hope Box. I became plugged in to Hope Mommies and attending my first retreat in February 2015 just before his one year anniversary. Meeting with other Hope Moms and sharing my son in a safe place was the turning point in my healing.