Share Hope: Kinley’s Legacy

As God brings us through the various trials of life, He also provides us with opportunities to use our sorrow as a platform for sharing the hope of Christ. In this series, Hope Moms share the ways they have been able to share hope with others as they have walked through the grief of losing a child. How has God uniquely equipped you to use your story to share hope with others? Share your story with us HERE


“Hope is a verb with its shirtsleeves rolled up”
David Orr

Devastated. Lost. Alone.

These were emotions I felt after losing Kinley. I didn’t know who could possibly understand these feelings. How could anyone know the deep, aching hurt of losing a child? Who could honestly say they’d experienced that intense pain?

Other hope moms.

I hadn’t known any hope moms until God sent them to me. They are women that went from acquaintances to friends as they ministered to me from the depths of their losses. They could have remained absorbed in their own grief, but they chose to step out of their hurt and comfort me. They shared hope and inspired me to do the same. I never imagined the different instances where God would have me share hope too.

There were a few times in the months after Kinley’s death that I would hear of another mother that had lost her baby: a high school friend, a sorority sister, a friend of a friend. I would send them a note of encouragement, letting them know they weren’t alone. It helped me in my grief to support others. The words of 2 Corinthians 1:3-4 rang truer for me than they ever had before:

“Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God.”

Then four years later, I got a call from my mother-in-law. She informed me that my sweet sister-in-law, Callie, had lost their baby, Max, at 20 weeks. How could this be happening again in our family? My heart hurt for them. It brought back so many painful memories of our loss. But I refused to be overcome by grief because I was being called to share hope.

I spent the night and the days leading up to her delivery talking with Callie. I answered her questions as best I could about what this experience would look like. I had not delivered a stillborn. Kinley had passed away 44 days after birth. But I had held my daughter when her spirit was with Jesus. I knew what that would feel like.

More than anything, I sent Callie Scripture. Even with some knowledge of a situation, my words were nothing in comparison to God’s Word. There were so many verses God had revealed to me following my loss that I was able to pass on to her. I had a plaque made for Callie, almost identical to one I had been given by another hope mom. It had Max’s full name, Psalm 139:13-16 written out, and this quote: “There is no foot too small that it cannot leave an imprint on this world.” Because of the hope God had poured into me, I felt equipped to pass that hope along to her.

It was now five years after losing Kinley. I was in church, and our pastor announced a new sermon series he would be starting—Discovering Hope in the Darkest of Circumstances. My heart started racing because I knew God was calling me to share my story. I went up to our pastor after the sermon, with my heart pounding. Did I really want to volunteer to put myself out there like this? To relive the hardest days of my life and be completely vulnerable in front of our church? I knew this tugging was from Him though, so before I lost my nerve, I told our pastor that I’d like to share our hope story. I spoke two weeks later at both services. My knees were shaking, my voice quivered a bit, but I delivered God’s message of hope.

You can watch the video of my testimony HERE.

Many people who viewed the video online reached out to me. Some had lost babies or loved ones. Some were just going through a really tough time. All of them felt God had used my story to remind them of His love and faithfulness.

Since then I have had the privilege of volunteering on the Hope Mommies Community page, writing for the HM blog, and leading four online Hope Groups. I have met the most amazing women who seek God in their sorrow. They do not let their losses define them but find their identity in Christ. It has been humbling to watch these women grow in their faith and honor their hope babies by pursuing joy and living in hope.

“For this reason, ever since I heard about your faith in the Lord Jesus and your love for all God’s people, I have not stopped giving thanks for you, remembering you in my prayers. I keep asking that the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the glorious Father, may give you the Spirit of wisdom and revelation, so that you may know Him better.  I pray that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened in order that you may know the hope to which He has called you, the riches of His glorious inheritance in His holy people,”
Ephesians 1:15-18

As hope moms, we want our hope babies’ short lives to have purpose. We want their stories to impact others for God’s glory. Sharing hope is Kinley’s legacy. And sweet momma, sharing hope is your hope baby’s legacy too. God wants to use you, your story, for His good purpose. Listen for His prompting. Maybe it’s reaching out to another hope mom or someone who is hurting. Maybe it’s sharing your story publicly. Maybe it’s serving on a ministry team. Whatever it is, step out in confidence. God will be faithful. As the adage goes: “God does not call the equipped. He equips the called.” Share your hope.


- Stephanie

Hope Mom to Kinley

Stephanie Blanks is married to Matt and has four children: Lyston (9), Kinley (who went home to Jesus in 2011), Levi (6), and Leighton (4). Stephanie works at the Chamber of Commerce in her small town of Hondo, TX. She enjoys singing in her church praise band, running, reading, and spending time with her family at the lake. You can read more from Stephanie on her blog.

 

 


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