Secured: Where Security Begins
In March 2017, Hope Moms from all across the country gathered in Giddings, TX for the annual Hope Mommies Retreat. Together, they spent the weekend sharing the stories of their precious babies, and finding that Christ can indeed comfort the brokenhearted, often through the hands and tears of another sufferer along the way. The theme of the 2018 retreat was “Secured.” In this mini series, our retreat speaker, Lindsey Dennis, takes us through Psalm 91:1-4 in order to give us a greater picture of the security we have been given in Christ.
It was just a few months after losing our second daughter when my husband and I sat across from a friend talking through our grief. I remember him saying to me, “Lindsey, what would it look like for you to rest in the safety of God’s arms right now?” I cringed at the thought. “Safe?” God surely didn’t feel safe to me at that moment.
My first daughter had died over 14 months earlier, and then we had walked through virtually the same situation with our second daughter. I could grasp that, somewhere, in all of this pain, God was good, God was at work, and God was even loving, but none of that had translated into Him being a place of safety for me in the midst of my deep grief.
If He could allow this pain to enter my life, not once but twice, what did it even mean for Him to be a place of safety for me? When I thought of safety, I thought of protection from pain. And this felt like anything but.
But that question pierced my soul throughout the months that followed, and brought me to a place of learning what it really means that God is our place of refuge. As I have journeyed over the last five years through grief and loss, I have become more confident that God is my refuge, and also more fearful for what that means. His sovereignty has left me both comforted and uncomfortable.
Security was probably one of the biggest struggles of my heart since losing my girls.
There is a fear of what may next come into my life, and the brutal realization that I am not immune to suffering or the sheer “randomness” of pain. I am in constant need of coming back to God’s word, and discovering in deeper ways what it means that He is my place of safety, my security, and my refuge. I am so quick to lean into my fears instead of into God’s truths.
Psalm 91: 1-4
He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High
Will abide in the shadow of the Almighty.
I will say to the LORD, “My refuge and my fortress,
My God, in whom I trust!”
For it is He who delivers you from the snare of the trapper
And from the deadly pestilence.
He will cover you with His pinions,
And under His wings you may seek refuge;
His faithfulness is a shield and bulwark.
The heart of the Psalms is largely considered to be Chapters 90-106.¹ These Psalms were likely read and compiled during the diaspora (when the Israelites were exiled from their homeland and about to re-enter). It was a time when the Israelites were wondering, “Where is God? Our kings are gone; our home is gone. Is everything You promised us still true? Are You still true?”
When our experiences seem to contradict our faith, how do we live? The Israelites were likely asking this question, and I imagine it is still a question we ask today. What do we do and how do we live when our experience doesn’t seem to match our faith? What do I think and believe about God when He promises to be my place of safety, but where I am and what I am experiencing feels anything but safe?
So where is safety found?
Psalm 91:1 begins with the answer to that question.
“He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High will abide in the shadow of the Almighty.”
Both here and throughout God’s Word, it is clear that security is found in the presence of God, our Almighty King. That answer sounds all kinds of nice and easy, but how do we get there when we feel unsafe in His presence?
This verse indicates that when we dwell in the shelter of the Most High, we will abide—make our home or place of safety and refuge—in His shadow.
Security begins when we acknowledge the places we are looking to find security outside of the presence of God
The Hebrew word for dwell means “dwelling in quietude and resting, enduring and remaining with constancy.”
How we react to our circumstances will reveal where we are dwelling.
Am I dwelling in my circumstances or with the One who holds my circumstances?
Am I dwelling on medical answers or my Creator’s infinite knowledge?
Am I dwelling on the hope of future children or His presence alone?
Am I dwelling on my pain or the promises He gives me in my pain?
In and of itself, it is not wrong to hope for more children, to want medical answers, or to acknowledge and groan over our pain. But do we remain in those places, looking for security apart from God? What is taking up the majority of my mental space and thoughts? That will be a good indicator of where I am dwelling.
The shelter of God that we are to dwell in is also called the “secret places.” Throughout Scripture that was a reference to the most holy place in the temple, where only those who were clean could go, the ultimate sacrifices were made, and where relationship with God happened. And that is the place that was hidden by a large and heavy curtain, torn top to bottom when Christ died on the cross offering every person a way to meet with Him. (Psalm 27:4-6; Matthew 27: 50-51; Hebrews 10:19-23)
Our dwelling is not only our conscious decision to remain, but the indisputable reality of where the one who knows Christ as their Lord and Savior already is.
Security begins when we bring our questions and fears to the Lord.
Let us dwell; let us stay and abide in the safest place that God has given us. Let us live there, and rest in the secure promises of God—the promise that we now have access to the holy place, and sit under the shadow of His wings. And when we know we are secure, we can bring our questions and fears to the Lord unashamedly and without condemnation.
The word for abide quite literally means: to make our home somewhere; to pass the night. Typically, our home is the place where our defenses are let down, and the real stuff comes out.
The question is, is the real stuff coming out towards God? Are we being honest with Him about our fears and insecurities, allowing Him the opportunity to speak into those fears, and opening our hearts to receive what He has to give? You cannot have a real and authentic relationship with someone you are not willing to be real and authentic with. God already knows all that is going on in our hearts, why don’t we simply acknowledge what He already knows?
Security begins with communion with God.
In Charles Spurgeon’s commentary, “The Treasury of David,” in response to Psalm 91, he says that, “communion with God is safety. The more closely we cling to our almighty God, the more confident we may be.”
After losing our second daughter, Dasah, I struggled to pray, and wanted nothing to do with my Bible. I felt as if God had abandoned me at my darkest hour. I remember my husband gently sitting beside me as I cried on the couch in our living room and saying, “I think we should read from the Bible together.” I said through tears, “I just can’t. But I know there is nowhere else for me to go. I’m trying to figure out a different way, but none of those ways are working.” I felt like Peter after Jesus asks if he is going to leave Him too, “Where else will I go? You have the words of eternal life.” (John 6:68)
Security begins with surrender.
When we dwell (make our home) somewhere, we put ourselves under the authority of the one who runs the home. And we submit. We cannot dwell without submission. It’s the way we come to Christ—submitting our life to Him.
I had to ask myself this question on the couch with my husband that day long ago, and I’ve had to ask myself this question a thousand times before and after:
“Will I unclench my first and say, ‘God, do with me what you will today, this weekend, in this moment?’”
God wants to, and is more than ready and willing to, speak to us in our pain. It is a backwards way to know the security of God—laying down our lives to follow Christ, and laying our pain at His feet. The world says, “take control, do what feels good, and create ‘illusions’ of security all around you.” God says that He will be our security in the midst of an insecure world.
Hebrews 6:19-20 says “We have this hope as an anchor for the soul, firm and secure. It enters the inner sanctuary behind the curtain, where our forerunner, Jesus, has entered on our behalf…” And this hope is cultivated more deeply in our lives through suffering. Romans 5:3-5 says “knowing that suffering produces perseverance and perseverance, character and character, hope; and hope does not disappoint because the love of God has been poured out within our heart through the Holy Spirt.”
When we abide, and place ourselves under the mighty hand of God, we are promised security, protection, and His very nearness and presence. And this is the promise we are given as children of the living God. But we miss out on experiencing the blessings of that promise when we look elsewhere for comfort and protection, and when we turn our backs from the One whose shadow we live under.
Would you take some time, in response to Psalm 91:1, to confess to God the ways in which you have not been dwelling with Him—the things your hands have been clenched around?
One of the ways you can do this is by simply asking God to bring to mind anything that is sin in your life, and writing it down on a piece of paper. When you are finished, write 1 John 1:9 over top of it and then tear it up and throw it away as a reminder of His forgiveness and His covering of those sins.
¹ For more information on how the book of Psalms is divided read Transformed by Praise by Mark Futato, or his interview with Nancy Guthrie: https://www.thegospelcoalition.org/article/help-me-teach-the-bible-mark-futato-on-psalms/)
- Lindsey
Hope Mom to Sophie and Dasah
Hi! I’m Lindsey. I live in Orlando, Florida with my stud of a husband Kevin. We have 3 incredible children, Sophie and Dasah who now live with Jesus, and Jaden who came into our lives through adoption. We have a very energetic golden retriever, and love living in the sunshine state. I get to spend my days loving on my son, investing my life in college students here through a non-profit organization we’re a part of, and when I have time, writing on my blog about the hope that doesn’t disappoint!
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