Pregnancy After Loss

Each child gone ahead from among us is a precious person made in the image of God—and all having been made into Hope Moms, we together declare motherhood in each of our journeys. Through this series, we honor each other’s experiences of motherhood in love through our shared God of hope.

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I remember so clearly standing at the end of my driveway the day a friend stopped by to drop something off to me. We chitchatted for a bit, and then she asked me what I was doing that day. 

“Just going to pop into the OB’s office to hear the heartbeat.”

“Oh, Shelly! You shouldn’t be so fearful. You need to have faith,” she told me.

I glanced in the backseat of her car where her six-month old little boy was happily gibbering. The same little boy I had imagined my son playing with at church and small group. 

Gently, I replied. “I do have faith. If I didn’t have faith, I never would have wanted to be pregnant again. It would be much too hard without faith.”

Pregnancy after loss comes with a whole new bag of emotions. Before my loss, I believed the steps of pregnancy were: 1) get pregnant and 2) have a baby 40 weeks later. When I lost my son at 37 weeks, my reality shifted to understanding I could lose my baby all the way up until he entered the birth canal. 

For some of you, your reality stretches beyond that. And I am really sorry. 

Pregnancy after loss is hard. It’s hard to explain, but I feel pregnancy after loss is the second hardest thing a mother experiences. The first is losing a child. 

Being pregnant should be a happy, hope-filled experience, but the reality for Hope Moms is a bit different. We know anything can happen at anytime. But, we shouldn’t let fear or anxiety rule our pregnancies. 

Often, our natural tendency is to let the negative thoughts play over and over in our head. As Christ followers, we do not have to let nature invade our thoughts. We have the supernatural strength of the Father to overcome the natural. 

The world tells us we probably will be fearful and anxious, but the Bible says, “Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind” (Romans 12:2).

How do we renew our minds? By focusing on and meditating on God’s truth. What are some biblical truth’s we can use to combat the world’s natural, negative thoughts? Here are a few of mine:

“I have said these things to you, that in me you may have peace
In the world you will have tribulation. But take heart;
I have overcome the world.”  John 16:33

“Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation,
by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving,
present your requests to God.” Philippians 4:6

“Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, 
I will fear no evil, for you are with me;
your rod and your staff, they comfort me.” Psalms 23:4

I had to remind myself of the truth of God’s Word many times when I was pregnant with my “New Blessing” baby. I didn’t want to tell anyone I was pregnant. I didn’t want people to ask me if I was excited. I was excited—but also cautious. I waited until I was almost six months along before I admitted to friends I was pregnant. 

I had to remind myself of God’s truth every time the baby wasn’t moving “enough.” 

I had to remind myself of God’s truth as I waited for the nurse to find the heartbeat at each appointment. 

I had to remind myself when I was in labor. 

I had to remind myself of God’s truth daily and hourly. I used the truth of God’s Word to combat the lies the enemy whispered in my ear. As I surrounded myself with God’s Word, I experienced peace. 

I wasn’t fearful. I relied on the fact that God was faithful. Even in my sorrow of losing my son, God was faithful. Because of His faithfulness, I didn’t have to be fearful. 

Dear Hope Mom, if you are considering pregnancy after loss, or experiencing pregnancy after loss, please know you can do this. The Lord will be with you each step of the way. He will guide you and comfort you. He will give you His peace—the peace that passes understanding. Give Him your fears and concerns, and let Him bathe you in His love. 

“And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding,
will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” Philippians 4:7

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Shelly D. Templin is an author, speaker and blogger that shares a message of hope—with humor. She has three daughters, a son-in-law, and a granddaughter. Shelly lives in Texas with her husband, Jack, of 29 years and their two dogs.

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