It is Well With Me

Music has the ability to speak into the deepest recesses of our hearts. God often uses songs to speak hope and encouragement to our souls. In this series, Hope Moms share songs that have pointed them to the hope of Christ in the midst of their grief. Is there a song that has comforted you in your grief? We’d love to have you share your story here.

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Often in my deepest and darkest days of grief, the only solace that would provide momentary comfort to my aching soul was music. I played songs on repeat over and over and over as tears poured down my face and my anxiety rose and then softened. 

One song in particular stands out to me as an anchor in the chaos of my grief: “It Is Well” by Bethel and Kristene DiMarco. This song seemed to appear weeks in a row during our pregnancy with Isaac, and then a dear friend shared it with me when I was struggling to “move on” and “live life again” after recovering from giving birth to my stillborn son at seven months gestation. I literally remember feeling frozen and unable to get out of my car as I listened to this song on my phone while parked outside the community acupuncture clinic—an attempt to help my body recover post-partum and prepare for another pregnancy. I was alone. I was beyond sad. I couldn’t express myself, but I could feel my pain in glimpses through music.

You may know the song. You may know the words. You may even know the original meaning behind the song when it was composed in 1873 by a father, Horatio G. Spafford, who just learned of the passing of his four children. Here are the lyrics: 

Grander earth has quaked before
Moved by the sound of His voice
Seas that are shaken and stirred
Can be calmed and broken for my regard

And through it all, through it all
My eyes are on You
And through it all, through it all
It is well
And through it all, through it all
My eyes are on You
And it is well with me

And far be it from me to not believe
Even when my eyes can’t see
And this mountain that’s in front of me
Will be thrown into the midst of the sea

And through it all, through it all
My eyes are on You
And through it all, through it all
It is well
And through it all, through it all
My eyes are on You
And it is well
It is well

So let go my soul and trust in Him
The waves and wind still know His name

The part that brings me to tears again and again is the phrase, “So let go my soul and trust in Him, the waves and wind still know His name.” 

My life felt like nothing more than torrential waves and unrelenting wind—a storm I could not escape or find relief from, a searing pain like I had never experienced before. And yet, somehow, in all of this, with empty arms that longed to hold my son, alive and breathing, God was still God. The waves and wind have always known His name. He is bigger than my immense pain that felt heavier and bigger than anything I had imagined. I found comfort in this, comfort in the truth that God was still God—bigger that my storm and in control of His good plan for my life, even when it seemed like everything was crumbling around me.

And so, I have gone, and continue to go, to songs for a solace for my aching heart when I can’t articulate what or how I feel. When I yearn, a soul-feverish type of yearning, for what isn’t here with me in this life. When I feel a fierce, hard to explain love for my son, Isaac. 

Isaac is a very real part of our family, even though he isn’t involved in our daily routines, putting on his shoes or opening Christmas gifts. He is and will always be our first born. I miss him. Greatly. Yet it is well somehow because of God’s grace and goodness.

Isaac will always be my son, and I will see him again. He is living life as it was intended, in the Father’s presence. I miss him, yes. Absolutely. But I know it is well. Isaac is well, and I will be well, because God promises never to leave or forsake us. And even in the darkness, He is still good.

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Lauren is a part-time working mama to Isaac and two babies in heaven as well as her boys Samuel and Nathanael at home in Colorado. She is a mental health therapist, recovering perfectionist, and truth be told, often feels overwhelmed as she tries again and again to reorient herself to live life as God intended. Lauren loves all things that bring out a deep belly laugh and tears to her eyes, really (good) hot coffee, Kansas sunsets, trail runs, and being with others who can share in both the joys and sorrows of life. 

We would be honored to share your story as a Hope Mom on our blog. On Saturdays we feature Hope Moms’ stories in order to showcase God’s faithfulness even in the midst of such deep sorrow. If you would like to have your story shared on our blog for this purpose, learn more and submit here.

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