Isaac, Forever Held

We may have only carried our babies on this side of eternity for a short while, but they are forever held in our hearts. In this series, Hope Moms share how they have held their precious babies throughout the months and years following their home going. What has remembering your hope baby looked like for you? We would love to have you write about the traditions you have started to represent your hope baby in your holiday celebrations, family photos, home, etc., or how you celebrate their birthday or heaven day. Find out how you can share your story HERE.

“Mommy, that’s my brother, Isaac. He’s in heaven with Sparky.” Sparky is my parent’s dog that just passed away a few months ago. I decided to pass up a theological discussion about whether dogs go to heaven. Instead, I smiled and said, “You are right, baby girl. I bet they’re playing together right now.”

Conversations like these are pretty common in our house. Just as we do with the rest of our children, we have Isaac’s picture displayed around the house. We reminisce about when he was in my tummy and the day he was born. We talk about his golden blonde hair, chubby cheeks, and what super hero would have been his favorite. His sisters are always quick to tell their friends that they have a brother, and how cute and special he was. He will always be a very important part of our family. 

When I found out at just 15 weeks gestation that Isaac would likely not survive for long outside of my womb, I had a choice. I was only 24 years old at the time, and I knew that I could live the rest of my life focused on the “what could have been,” or I could choose to savor the time I was going to have with my baby and celebrate his life for the rest of mine. I chose the later, knowing that I wouldn’t always do it perfectly, and that it wouldn’t always be easy.

I so desperately wanted to choose joy in a seemingly hopeless situation. I wanted to be there for my daughter and any other siblings that would come along in the future. I wanted to forever hold my baby boy in a way that would honor his life and bring glory to the One that knit him together in my womb. 

One way that we have chosen to honor Isaac’s life is by simply sharing his story. I blogged throughout my pregnancy, and I have continued to blog about our journey with infant loss to this day. I never know whose life our baby boy’s will touch. My prayer is that through sharing the joy we have found in the midst of pain and suffering, others will find the hope and peace that can only come from the Lord. 

We also celebrate big each year on July 16th, Isaac’s birthday. His sisters pick out a stuffed animal, and we deliver it to the hospital where he was born. I briefly share his story on a card attached to the gift, and we then ask the nurses to give it to the family of a baby boy born that day. Our celebration continues with a cookie cake, balloons that we sign and send up towards heaven, and usually some time spent playing at the pool or splash pad. It is July in Texas after all! 

This July will be eight years since I held my baby boy in my arms. Those few hours will never seem long enough, but by keeping his memory alive, and by continuing to celebrate his life, Isaac will be forever held in our hearts.

Kacie lives in Austin, Texas, and is the mommy of three precious daughters on earth and a sweet baby boy in heaven. She loves reading, coffee dates with her husband, Jonathan, and traveling with her family. She is passionate about helping women grow in biblical literacy and theology and is the cohost of the Adorned Podcast. She also blogs at www.kaciehunt.com.

We would be honored to share your story as a Hope Mom on our blog. On Saturdays we feature Hope Moms’ stories in order to showcase God’s faithfulness even in the midst of such deep sorrow. If you would like to have your story shared on our blog for this purpose, learn more and submit here.