How Can We Walk in Joy this Mother’s Day?

Every year when Mother’s Day rolls around, my Facebook feed is full of people honoring their mothers. Sprinkled among the “odes to mom” are those lamenting the loss of their mothers. Then, there are also those who have lost their children. My Facebook feed is a mix of joy and sorrow.

At churches on Mother’s Day, moms are often honored by giving them a rose, or asking them to stand to be acknowledged. I’ve seen the Hope Mommy start to stand, and then sit back down because no one knows she’s a mom.

On a day that is supposed to be celebratory and honoring to moms, Hope Mommies are often left feeling sorrow. We ache to celebrate and be honored. Even if we have other children, we wonder what kind of homemade card our baby in heaven would have made for us, or if they would have crept into our rooms early with a PopTart and told us they made breakfast in bed for us.

Dear Hope Mommy, even if you never got a chance to “mother” your child, or you didn’t get a chance to mother very long, you are a mother. You will always be a mother. Whether a child is held in your arms or just in your heart, you are a mother.

The first time I saw the line on the pregnancy test, I was a mom. Though I never got to wear the “Boy Mom” t-shirt or hashtag “boymom” on an Instagram post, I am the mom of a boy.

How do we walk in joy on Mother’s Day when we are sad? How do we have peace when it hurts to watch others celebrate with their children—all of their children—and we can’t? How do we participate in the honor of the day?

First, we need to remember that our joy should not be contingent on our circumstances. Our joy comes from the Lord. If we focus on our situation, we can lose our joy and peace all too quickly.

Matthew 14:22-33 tells the story of Peter walking on water. When Peter got out of the boat and walked on the water toward Jesus, as long as he kept his gaze on Jesus, he was fine. But the minute he focused on the waves lapping at his feet and felt the wind swirling around him—and his brain became larger than his eyes— he started to sink.

We can keep our eyes focused on Jesus by reading His Word that is full of promises.

“You will seek me and find me, when you seek me with all your heart.”
Jeremiah 29:13

“Be strong and courageous. Do not fear or be in dread of them, for it is the Lord your God who goes with you. He will not leave you or forsake you.”
Deuteronomy 31:6

“We have this as a sure and steadfast anchor of the soul, a hope…”
Hebrews 6:19

We can keep our eyes on Jesus by worshiping Him—even when we feel we can’t.

“Through Him then let us continually offer up a sacrifice of praise to God,
that is, the fruit of lips that acknowledge His name.”
Hebrews 13:15

“Because Your steadfast love is better than life, my lips will praise You.”
Psalms 63:3

The wonderful and transforming aspect of worship is when we focus on the Lord we aren’t focusing on ourselves. It is impossible to truly worship the Lord, and focus on ourselves at the same time.

When grief tries to take hold and turn a day of honor and celebration into one of sorrow, we have a choice. I am a firm believer that happiness is a choice. I can either focus on what wasn’t and never will be on this earth, or I can delight in the knowledge that my child is spending my Mother’s Day in the presence of Jesus. In doing that, I do not give the enemy (Satan) a chance to discourage me.

And since I’m a very practical person, I would encourage you to take some time today to remember your child—the child who made you a mother. Buy some flowers, plant some flowers, pamper yourself in some way—even if its just an afternoon spent reading or napping or indulging in a pedicure—or go out to lunch like the mom’s do with babies here on earth.

So, dear Hope Mommy, please know I celebrate and honor you on Mother’s Day. I see you, and I acknowledge you are a mom. I know the sorrow you feel, but I pray you are overwhelmed by God’s goodness and faithfulness today.

Happy Mother’s Day to you!

Shelly D. Templin is an author, speaker and blogger that shares a message of hope – with humor. She has three daughters, a son-in- law, and a granddaughter. Shelly lives in Texas with her husband, Jack, of 29 years and their two dogs.

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