Hope for the Holidays {Hope in the Silence}

I pulled out Clara’s baby book last week to add her recent school picture.

As I was doing so, Camille walked over and wanted to join in and “help.”

Camille: Oh, Mama it’s baby Camille!

Me: No, sweetie, this is baby Clara.

Camille: Oh, OKAY. She so cute! Show me more pictures?

Me: Sure, we can look at more pictures, let’s start from the beginning.

Camille crawled in my lap and we looked through Clara’s book, page by page. She pointed out every detail and made sure I looked at every single element of every single photo.  When we got to page 34, Camille looks up with concern , “Mama, you didn’t finish . . . write more!”

Tears welled up in my eyes as I stared at lines untouched by ink.

“Oh, sweetie. This page is to remember when Clara says her first words. She doesn’t speak yet. We will fill in these pages if and when she says her first words.”

Oh please, Lord, let year five be the year we hear her voice.

To which Camille replied, “Oh, ok. That be good.”

Following that moment we had a mini conversation about how we keep praying for God to open Clara’s mouth, but even if He doesn’t, we love Him regardless and He is good.

A reminder that was good for my own soul. A reminder that I can still trust, even when it appears God is silent.

. . .

And I can’t help but think that there are so many of you out there with blank pages waiting to be filled.

Waiting for God to answer a prayer. A prayer that you have been praying for so long that you wonder, Do I even need to keep lifting this up because surely, after all this time, He knows the desire of my heart.

Waiting for a spouse.

Waiting for a positive pregnancy test.

Waiting for the adoption agency to call.

Waiting for that new job that will bring new opportunity.

Waiting for reconciliation in a relationship.

Waiting for healing from chronic illness or life-shattering diagnosis.

Waiting for just one solid friendship.

Waiting for life to feel somewhat normal again after a loss so devastating you just don’t know how to go on. The loss of a baby.

And while I don’t have all the answers, I sit with you, with my own pages, wanting so desperately for God to fill in the blanks.

This time of year brings with it so much fun and tradition and cheer, but it also brings with it the temptation to look around at the lives of others and lose sight of God’s handiwork. How He has answered our pleas for intervention. We scroll through other’s highlights and long for their blessings, while subconsciously negating the ways we have been blessed.

This is so easy to do, is it not?

May I encourage you this Christmas season to keep His promises close to heart? God gives us His word, these promises, to fill the silence. To fill in the blanks.

If we were sitting together today over a warm cup of coffee I would suggest we claim these promises together, out loud:

It is the LORD who goes before you. He will be with you; He will not leave you or forsake you. Do not fear or be dismayed. (Deuteronomy 31:8)

The LORD your God is in your midst, a mighty one who will save; He will rejoice

over you with gladness; He will quiet you by his love; He will exult over you… (Zephaniah 3:17)

And I am certain that God, who began the good work within you, will continue His work until it is finally finished on the day when Christ Jesus returns. (Philippians 1:6)

He will cover you with His feathers. He will shelter you with His wings. His faithful promises are your armor and protection. (Psalm 91:4)

The Lord is close to the brokenhearted; He rescues those whose spirits are crushed. (Psalm 34:18)

You have not handed me over to my enemies but have set me in a safe place. (Psalm 31:8)

God is light, and there is no darkness in Him at all.  (1 John 1:5)

After we claimed these promises together I would gently remind you that regardless the time lapse, whether it’s been one day or one year or ten years, He asks us to keep asking. To keep bringing Him our pages. To keep showing up and asking Him, in His perfect wisdom, to write the rest of our story. In His perfect way and in His perfect time.

It’s in this repetition, this constant showing up, that we display our trust and hope.

The Word tell us He knows what we ask before we ask it, but the Word also tells us to present our requests to God, with thankfulness and expectation.

So we bring the unfilled pages of our stories and present them to God, with hearts that say I know you’ve got this and work for my best and I will keep watch with eyes wide open for how you are working, even as these pages remain unfilled. And even if they remain unfilled.

Even if God remains silent to my begging.

That “even if” can be hard, can’t it?

But by looking back on my own story I remember God is always at work for my best.

For your best.

That best just might look different than we always hoped or originally planned.

As Christmas draws near, let’s boldly claim His promises as our own. Let’s choose hope over despair and remind each other of the source of our hope, even in the wait. Even in the silence. Let’s come into His presence with thanksgiving and His courts with praise with full belief that while the silence doesn’t make sense, He cares for us deeply.

. . .

Does God feel silent to you in this season? What blank pages are you waiting for God to fill? How have you seen Him working for your good, even in the silence?

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