Fulfilled in God’s Purposes

After months of doctor appointments, countless ultrasounds, and many tests, we could no longer deny my son’s diagnosis. It seemed his life would be short, and the doctors didn’t offer much hope for his situation to change. I knew my God was bigger than any doctor or chromosome issue. I prayed like I had never prayed before. I begged God to spare my son. He had already taken several of my babies home to heaven, and I wanted Him to grant me this one request. Late one night, when I awoke from a dream, I sensed God telling me in the silent darkness that He had other plans for my sweet boy—he would not be healed on this side of heaven. My heart was shattered as I absorbed all of this. That night my prayer for my son’s life began to change. I began to ask the Lord for the gift of time. I wanted time to hold my son and tell him I loved him before he was called home. More than time, however, I asked that his life would have a lasting impact on the world he was to leave behind. I didn’t know what that would look like, but I was confident the Lord would answer these prayers in a mighty way.

“And this is the confidence that we have toward Him, that if we ask anything according to His will He hears us..”
1 John 5:14

The Lord indeed answered my prayer in a mighty way. He gave us four beautiful hours with sweet Thatcher. In the weeks and months that followed his death, I could see the ripple effect his life had on those around me, and even many people I had never met. We had people around the world kneeling at the foot of the throne on our behalf. Although it was clear that his life was valued, I wanted more—I wanted to honor my son by helping others. I began praying for God to show me what He wanted from my life, but I had more grieving and breaking to do before He would begin to open those doors. God needed me to fully surrender before I could fully begin to fulfill the purpose He had for me.

After months of wrestling with God, my grief, and my faith, I realized that God had work that He wanted to do in my heart through Thatcher’s life. My hard heart needed to be completely broken so that I could be used more fully by Him.  My sweet son’s life opened my eyes to my Savior and the Father’s love for me. It was when I reached that point of complete surrender that God began to open doors and reveal how He would use Thatcher’s life to bring Him glory.

“The Lord will fulfill His purpose for me;
 Your steadfast love, O Lord, endures forever.
Do not forsake the work of Your hands.”
Psalm 138:8

I began seeing a biblical counselor at the deepest point of my grief, and it quickly became apparent how beneficial counseling from a biblical perspective was for me. Several months later, God began leading me down a path I never imagined: I started a non-profit to help ease the financial burden of biblical counseling and burial services for others who had experienced the loss of a baby. I knew first-hand the financial burden of medical and funeral expenses and I wanted to ease that burden for other families that were hurting. God also provided me with many opportunities to reach out and minister to other moms that were faced with terminal pregnancies, some of whom were not Christians. How incredible that God could use my tragedy to spread His message to hurting moms I would have otherwise never crossed paths with.

Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our affliction, so that we may be able to comfort those who are in any affliction, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God.
2 Corinthians 1:3, 4

Sweet sister, your baby’s life was and is precious. God ordained his or her life before time began, and each life was created for a purpose: to bring Him glory and to make Him known. God promises to fulfill His purpose for their life and yours. Maybe you haven’t seen the tangible results of His work in you. Spend some time praying that He will open your eyes to see His plan for your life. His promises are good, and they are true. He will turn your ashes into a “beautiful headdress” and your mourning into a “garment of praise.” (Isaiah 61:3)

“Show me the path where I should walk. O LORD;
Point out the right road for me to follow.
Lead me by Your truth and teach me,
For You are the God who saves me.
All day long I put my hope in You.”
Psalm 25:4, 5 (NLT)

Megan Kelley is married to Jake and the mother to seven babies. Her first child she lost to miscarriage in September of 2009. She then had two children, Hunter (7) and Preston (5). After Preston, she lost her next two to miscarriage in March and August of 2014. A month later, she found out she was pregnant with her son, Thatcher, who was diagnosed with Edwards Syndrome. He went to his heavenly home shortly after he was born on April 17, 2015. She was blessed with her latest addition, Abigail Quinn in July of 2017. She loves painting, gardening, cooking, reading, and playing with her kids at the park.

Are you a writer who would like to join the blog team? Learn more and apply here.