Dear Kinley: A Letter to My Hope Baby
Dear Kinley,Oh my sweet girl, how has it already been over 12 years since I last held you in my arms? Time goes by so quickly. Your 13th birthday will be in here in December. A teenager. Wow! There are so many life lessons learned in the teenage years. Things I wish I could have taught you or helped you process. Instead, I feel I have learned many things from God because of you.
Even though you are not here, God continues to use you, your story, for His glory. I wanted so much for the narrative of your life to read as a miraculous tale of healing. I desperately prayed for that miracle. However, that wasn’t how God wrote your story. He did not choose healing here on earth. And yet, your story is no less beautiful because it has shown the comfort and peace only God can give, the encouragement we can receive and give to others, and the precious hope we have in Christ.
Looking back over these last 12 years, I am so thankful for how God’s comfort and peace sustained me. After losing you, I felt so broken and full of sorrow. I turned to the Bible and God guided me to verses that soothed my soul and gave my spirit rest.
“He will cover you with his feathers, and under his wings you will find refuge; his faithfulness will be your shield and rampart.”
Psalm 91:4
“I am leaving you with a gift–peace of mind and heart. And the peace I give is a gift the world cannot give. So don’t be troubled or afraid.”
John 14:27
His comfort and peace weren’t limited to Scripture. I felt it in songs, in His creation, and in everyday moments that could only be from God. Your life, Kinley, helped me experience comfort and peace like I never had before.
God has used many people to encourage me in my grief journey, and in turn, has used your story to encourage others. Family, friends, our church, sorority sisters, and even strangers—God enlisted an army of believers to speak truth into my life when I was at my very lowest. I can think back on dozens of conversations, and the central theme was: you are not alone and God loves you. Other Hope Moms shared their stories of loss and God’s faithfulness through it all. I had read encouragement through Scripture, but this was encouragement personified. This was His love.
In these last 12 years, your story has been shared so many times. People have been encouraged through your story and the lessons your life has taught me. God has allowed me to console other Hope Moms, to offer a listening ear and a shoulder to cry on. They can be completely honest and raw in their grief because they know I’ve walked this road. God used you, Kinley, to draw me into this ministry, to provide purpose through pain.
“Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God.”
2 Corinthians 1:3-4
And finally, my precious daughter, God has used you to offer hope. Hope over despair. Hope in darkness. The hope of heaven. As Christians, we claim victory because Christ defeated death through his ultimate act of love on the cross. I have no doubt we will be reunited for eternity because of the hope we have in Christ. You are my daily reminder of that.
“Let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess, for He who promised is faithful.”
Hebrews 10:23
Please know, Kinley, that with every fiber of my being, I wish you were here with me. My heart aches for you, and it always will, but I know God had an assignment for you that you fully completed. I am so proud of you, sweetheart. I will continue to share your story and be faithful in spreading the comfort, peace, encouragement, and hope we have in Him.
I will love you always,
Mom
- Stephanie
Hope Mom to Kinley
Stephanie Blanks is married to Matt and has four children: Lyston (9), Kinley (who went home to Jesus in 2011), Levi (6), and Leighton (4). Stephanie works at the Chamber of Commerce in her small town of Hondo, TX. She enjoys singing in her church praise band, running, reading, and spending time with her family at the lake. You can read more from Stephanie on her blog.
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