Comforting Others
When I think of God’s comfort in the tender days following Anna’s death, I have memories of Him holding me close, carrying me through the dark wilderness of pain, and covering my eyes from a scary wilderness of towering trees marked with anger, fear, envy, and death itself. This is how I metaphorically imagined His loving shield of comfort in poetic terms. Although I could not see it, I knew from Scripture that He was going to safely carry me through all this heartache into the brightly lit opening of the forest on the other side.
I also remember the new way the Psalms comforted me after experiencing loss. I read over and over again about God being a shield, fortress, and high tower that protects from enemy attacks—a safe refuge from storms—and like a mother bird’s wing, covering us with protective feathers. All these descriptions were jumping off the page and settling my grief-stricken and anxious heart. There were books, blogs, and stories I read that pointed me to Him, all written by those who have gone ahead of me. He brought me solace time and time again through many forms and facets, meeting me on the bedroom floor, in the car, in the shower, in church, in the hospital room, in my ugliest moments, and even when I sinned. His comfort literally carried me through the darkest times and into a glorious new light that allowed healing and moving forward through my pain.
Still today, almost four years later, I am more than comforted in my grief. I am consoled by truth, knowing Anna resides in His presence and that God truly is enough when my earthly world crashes down. One of the best ways He did this was through the numerous women He brought into my life to comfort me with practical and emotional support, and shared experience.
As the years pass, my own experience has spurred me to share this utter and unrelenting comfort I speak of with the women the Lord also puts in my path. At first, it was a prayer for at least one. He answered with not just a few women, but dozens with whom He has allowed me to share the story of Anna’s death, subsequent infertility, and His comfort through it all. It was now my turn to share of His comfort with someone else. This has looked like writing for Hope Mommies, sharing my story on other online mediums, starting a local support group with a friend, and teaching at conferences on grief and how the Lord makes our grief good for His sake. It looks like sending many, many Christ-centered books on baby loss to sisters from all over the US, praying, texts just to check in, sharing truth in dark moments, remembering due dates and loss dates, and just simply listening.
Paul did this for us too throughout His letters in the New Testament. He tells of his near death experiences, times in prison, his own “thorn,” times of need, and the reluctance new churches had of his trustworthiness while still raving of God’s comfort and provision. He chose worship over complaining and accounted it all for “Christ’s sake.” He allowed the pain to be purposeful for eternity, but also in the present. In his letter to the Corinthian church, Paul says, “Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our tribulation, that we may be able to comfort those who are in any trouble, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God.” (2 Corinthians 1:3-4) This is exactly what I experienced from other women and what enabled me to gift the women after me as well. It’s like a revolving door of the Lord’s comfort for His daughters experiencing baby loss.
You may be the Hope Mommy walking through the door for the first time, new in your grief, or the Hope Mommy who has gone around the grief cycle a time or two. Like Paul, we are both comforted and able to comfort others because we share a “God of all comfort who comforts us in all tribulation.” I challenge you to keep seeking the Lord’s comfort in whatever stage of grief you reside. I know in the early days it can seem impossible to be fully consoled, so my advice is to keep going back to the source time and time again. For those of us seasoned in our grief, may we also frequently remember how tenderly the Lord comforted us in our darkest days. Finally, I implore us all to seek His wisdom on how He would have us share about His comfort with someone else who needs it. I gave a few examples above that have worked for me, but I hope you find methods that fit your unique story and abilities. If so, please share your own ideas below in the comments!
Lord- You are the God of all comfort and I praise you for it. I know that it is part of your will that I may share with others how I have been comforted in loss. Please direct me to know how, when, and where. Thank you for how intimate your comfort and presence is despite this deep pain of loss. Thank you for birthing purpose out of it. Amen.
- Kayla
Hope Mom to Anna Joy
Kayla is married to Justin in sunny south Florida where they enjoy life together with friends & family. Kayla is a teacher at heart, nurse by profession, & lover of truth! She serves as a volunteer nurse at her local Care-Net & enjoys women’s ministry discipleship especially in the areas of grief, marriage, & infertility. You can follow more of her musings on grief here.
We would be honored to share your story as a Hope Mom on our blog. On Saturdays we feature Hope Moms’ stories in order to showcase God’s faithfulness even in the midst of such deep sorrow. If you would like to have your story shared on our blog for this purpose, learn more and submit here.
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