Brittney’s Story
My husband and I were married for nine years before we decided it was time for us to start a family. We had a lot of difficulty getting pregnant. I was diagnosed with endometriosis, which can cause infertility and pain. The only treatment was surgery. Just a couple of months after I had the surgery, we found out we were expecting a baby. We were so thrilled that the surgery had worked and that we were now going to be a family of three. We also found a new church home during this time; everything was going great.
At about 10 weeks pregnant, I found out that the baby had no heartbeat. I was so distraught over the loss of our baby, I did not know what to do or where to turn. I knew that I should be turning to the Lord, but I just couldn’t understand why He would let this happen after such a long time of trying to get pregnant. I tried to handle it on my own, but by Thanksgiving of that year, I was a complete mess and my family basically had to have an intervention with me.
I didn’t know what to do, so I called our church and they placed me with a Christian counselor. While he was counseling me through the intense loss I felt, he reminded me that I needed to rely on God for healing and not try to do it myself. He also helped me through some deeply ingrained family and personal struggles; he taught me about “generational sin” and how I could choose, through the power of God, to be different.
Late in 2010, we were trying to get pregnant and had no luck. Our pastor prayed for families who were trying to conceive. My husband and I also prayed; we so wanted to have a child. In January of 2011, I went to the doctor for a routine check-up and found out that I was about four weeks pregnant. I was over-joyed, yet so scared that the same thing would happen again. But my pregnancy progressed and was healthy. In October of 2011, the Lord blessed us with an adorable baby boy named Drew.
In October of 2014, after nearly a year and a half of trying to conceive again, we found out that we were pregnant yet again. We were so excited to have another baby and for Drew to be a big brother.
Then, on December 22, we found out that there was an 80% chance that there was something “very wrong” with our baby. I immediately had a blood test, and during the wait for the results, members of our church prayed over us. The Lord gave me this prayer, “Lord, please prepare us and strengthen us for the journey ahead”.
On New Years Eve, we got a call from our perinatologist saying that our baby had a condition called Trisomy 13. As the doctor explained, it meant our child, a little boy, would not be able to live more than two or three days after birth. Our perinatologist and OBGYN assumed that we would terminate the pregnancy because our son was “incompatible with life,” but we were determined to let God decide how long our son would live.
Over the next five months, we felt God’s presence in our lives. We believed He chose us for this journey, and that if He chose us, He would lead us through. God was faithful in His promise to never leave us or forsake us (Hebrews 13:5); He was with us every step of the way.
On May 31, 2015, our second son, John Tate Bottoms, was born against all odds. The Lord had answered our biggest prayer. He was special. He was one in 16,000. He should have passed away even before he was born, like 95% of all babies with Trisomy 13 do in the first trimester, but he didn’t. The Lord had performed a miracle. We felt His presence so much during our time with John Tate, and we continue to feel His presence now. We have found comfort in the Lord’s promises, and He has put people in our lives that have been speaking those truths to us.
This doesn’t mean that I don’t have dark days. There have been so many days, even weeks, where I feel as if I have lost all hope. “Why did the Lord take John from us? Why couldn’t we ‘keep him’ (as our four year old asks us all the time)?” The only answer I have is that this is the Lord’s plan for John’s life, and his short little life is being used to glorify God.
God has showed me that I am not supposed to just sit in my suffering; I am supposed to take the comfort He has given me and let it flow to others. He has called us to be rivers, not ponds (John 7:38). John’s life has inspired us to pour into other families who have lost children as well as pour into our community by starting an infant bereavement program in his honor at our local hospital.
This is not my whole story; this is the story of a time that I really knew and understood that God was alive and working in my life. He has carried me through so many trials, and He has rescued me so many times when I have needed saving from my situation. He saved me from an abusive family situation and provided a family that took me in as their own. And He used my biological sister and my adoptive family to encourage me to seek a relationship with the Lord. Looking back, I know the Lord has incrementally guided me throughout my entire life. He was always holding His hand out and asking me to take it, but I know that I didn’t always recognize it when I was not living in obedience to Him.
I have learned that when I fix my eyes on Jesus and praise Him through the trials, the enemy’s plan will fail. What Satan is trying to use to harm me, the Lord is using for His glory and for my good. Just a few days ago, God impressed that very truth upon my heart: “I gave you baby John for My glory.” The suffering in our lives serves a purpose.
- Brittney Bottoms
Hope Mom to John Tate
Brittney and David live in Marietta, GA with their two children, Drew and Eliza Grace. In December of 2014, Brittney learned that her second child, then 13 weeks along, had Trisomy 13. On May 31, 2015, John Tate Bottoms was born and lived for two hours after his birth.
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