My Strength in the Sorrow

In the early days following each of my losses, people would often comment on how “strong” I was in the midst of my grief—as if I accomplished some amazing feat. But if they could have seen into my heart, they would have quickly discovered how wrong they were. I was weak, confused, lonely, and broken—not strong.

Each grieving mother carries her own unique fears, burdens, and heartaches; and while we all long for the strength to endure the grief and pain that have become a part of our stories, what we each envision that strength to look like can be vastly different from one woman to the next.

Some of us think that to be strong in grief means not to cry or display weakness.
Others believe that strength means being able to keep the details of our lives together and maintain a sense of “normalcy” even when it feels like everything around us is crumbling to the ground.
Still others would define strength in the midst of sorrow as the ability to shut off your emotions and not allow the heaviness of loss to penetrate the deep recesses of your heart.

Dear one, none of this is what it truly means to be strong.

To be tough and tenacious in the midst of our grief is not what God expects of us. Holding back the tears and plowing onward while ignoring the pain deep in our hearts ought not be our goal. Jesus, Himself, spent the hours before He went to the cross in anguish and in tears. (Luke 22:44, Hebrew 5:7). When it seemed that everyone around me expected me to be strong in the midst of heavy grief, I found great comfort in the truth that God did not expect me to be strong. He wanted to be my strength.

Enduring suffering and hardship is not about demonstrating how strong you can be, but about showcasing God’s marvelous strength in you. Our burdens and sorrows can either overwhelm and consume us, or they can lead us to the One who knows exactly what we need, and is waiting to fill us with His strength. In our weakness, we do not need more of ourselves, but more of God.

“He gives power to the faint, and to him who has no might He increases strength.”
Isaiah 40:29

“God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble.”
Psalm 46:1

Experiencing strength in the sorrow, does not come from mustering up your own strength, but in learning how to stop relying on it. God often allows us to walk through places of weakness, so that He can show Himself strong as He sustains us through the difficult circumstances we face. As sinful and broken people, we can’t really understand what it means for God to be our strength until we arrive at the place where we have come to the end of ourselves and He is the only way through. His strength in us is greatest when our need for Him is greatest.

“But He said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for My power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong.”
2 Corinthians 12:9-10

As you learn to press into Christ, rather than rely on your own fortitude, His strength will shine forth through your weakness. When you feel weak, lean into His Word. It is there that you will find the strength you seek when it feels as though your soul is melting away from the weight of your sorrow (Psalm 119:28). Remind yourself of the promises that God has made—promises that were brought to completion by the precious blood of Christ. For all the promises of God find their Yes in Christ Jesus (2 Corinthians 1:20).

He will strengthen your inner self with His power (Ephesians 3:16).
He will supply all of your needs according to His riches in glory (Philippians 4:19).
He will enable you to tread on the high places (Habakkuk 3:19).
He will strengthen you, help you, and uphold you with His righteous right hand (Isaiah 41:10).
He will never leave you or forsake you (Deuteronomy 31:8).
He will be with you. Therefore, the waters will not overwhelm you, the fire shall not burn you, and the flame shall not consume you (Isaiah 43:2).

As strong as your sorrow may seem, Christ is stronger still. He is stronger than your grief. He is stronger than your pain. He is stronger than your suffering. And when, on the third day, He rose from the dead, He proved once and for all that He is stronger than even death itself.

As grieving mothers, we have been given a unique opportunity to display the strength of God to those around us. Will you choose today to press into Him? He longs to be your strength. Set the Lord always before you, and you, precious momma, will not be shaken.

“I have set the Lord always before me; because He is at my right hand, I shall not be shaken.”
Psalm 16:8

Ashlee is an Editorial Coordinator for Hope Mommies. She and her husband, Jesse, have four children on earth and two little ones in Heaven. You can get to know her more by reading her blog, Beyond Undone.

 

 

 

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