We Remember Because They Lived

Hope Mom,

Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day is this Thursday, and I’ve been thinking about you as it gets closer because I know there are so many different ways a day like this can feel. Maybe you’ve been looking forward to lighting a candle and saying your baby’s name, or maybe October has brought your grief closer to the surface than you expected. Maybe it’s been many years since your baby died and you’re wondering what this day will feel like this year, or maybe this is your first October 15th without your baby and you still can’t quite believe you’re part of a community you never wanted to belong to.

I don’t think there is a right way to approach a day like this, and I certainly don’t want you to feel like you need to make it into something it isn’t for you. But I do hope you’ll give yourself space to remember your baby, whatever that looks like for you this year, because that’s really what October 15th is about. It’s about stopping for a little while and making space for the babies we still love and miss, whether their lives lasted only a few weeks within the womb or continued for minutes, days, or months after birth. Some of us have pictures and footprints and memories of holding our babies, and some of us have very little that the rest of the world can see, but we are all mothers who had babies we loved and wanted and still wish were here.

And I think that’s part of what I love about this day. There is something meaningful about knowing that all over the world, families are lighting candles, saying names, and remembering babies who may not be remembered by very many other people anymore. For one evening, we get to do that together. I hope Thursday is gentle on your heart. I hope someone remembers with you and says your baby’s name, and I hope you feel loved and cared for by the people around you and by this Hope Mommies community. But more than anything, I pray that as you remember your baby, you know that the Lord remembers too. He knew your baby completely, He saw every one of their days, however few they were, and He sees you now as you continue to love and miss the child He gave you.

I would love for you to join us Thursday evening for our Wave of Light as we remember our babies, worship together, and turn our hearts toward the hope we have because Jesus lives. A link to join us will be emailed Thursday and shared on our social media.

And if you share about your baby on social media this week, please tag @hopemommies and use #hopemommiesoct15. We’d love to see your baby’s name, hear a little of their story, and see this community remembering together. You are deeply loved, Hope Mom, and we are so honored to remember your baby with you.

Jennie is the Executive Director for Hope Mommies. She and her husband Brian live in Oregon and have four children together— Trenton, Paige who has been in Heaven with Jesus since 2010, Mason, and Cora. If you were to knock on her front door today, you’d find her in something comfortable drinking a hot cup of tea, while trying to figure out how to balance all the things that make up a life. She enjoys spending time in God’s word, fresh flowers, board games with her kids, cooking, and evening walks in her neighborhood. She adores being a new creation in Christ and prays she reflects Him well on this earth.