Carly’s Story

My husband, Josh, and I found out we were pregnant shortly after Thanksgiving in 2019. To be quite honest, I was very anxious and fearful about it because this child would be my fourth C-Section, and we had experienced complications with our third son that could affect this pregnancy. I brought my fears before the Lord (at the time I was mostly fearful that I would die in childbirth, leaving my husband and children behind) and He comforted me greatly as I read in 1 Thessalonians 5: 9-11.

“For God has not destined us for wrath, but to obtain salvation through our Lord Jesus Christ, who died for us so that whether we are awake or asleep we might live with him. Therefore encourage one another and build one another up, just as you are doing.” 

I remember reading this verse with tears streaming down my face, thankful that God was comforting my soul and reminding me that if I died on earth I would be living with Him in eternity. I wrote in the margins of my Bible, “Father may my heart cling to this truth. Thank you for this precious baby in my womb.”

Our pregnancy continued, and the baby looked perfect. We had an ultrasound at 8 weeks and again at 13 weeks. We opted to have some genetic testing done, and all of that came back with wonderful news. We also found out at that time that our baby was a girl. Our first daughter! We had three sons who were all ecstatic to be getting a sister. In fact, when we first told them we were having a baby, they each told us they wanted a sister. I was awed by God’s kindness in blessing us with a daughter.

We had another checkup at 16 weeks, and our daughter had a beautiful, strong heartbeat. My only worry was that I hadn’t been gaining weight. But, none of my doctors were concerned because I had been so sick throughout the first trimester, and my uterus was measuring right on track. 

On March 16, 2019, at 19 weeks and five days, I went in for a regular ultrasound check. As soon as the technician pulled our daughter up on the screen, I knew something was off. The image was so still, and as she took a first measurement, I could see that the measurement was too small. I mentioned to the tech that our baby looked small, and she agreed.

I asked her if Lydia was okay. The technician patted me on the leg and said, “I know that you know something is off.”

I interrupted her immediately and said, “Please just tell me if she has a heartbeat.” 

The technician patted my leg again and said, “I’m so sorry, I do not see one. Let me go get the doctor.” That moment is burned into my memory. I felt a crushing weight as I was overcome with sobs. I cried out to God that I needed Him. I called my husband, and he immediately left work and came to be by my side.

The doctor came to speak with us and told us that they could tell Lydia had just recently passed away in the last day or two. They could tell that she did not pass away because of the antibody complications that had arisen in my third pregnancy. He also told us our options for delivery. We decided that we would go to the hospital later that day to induce labor. 

At this point, I remember just feeling numb. We phoned our families, texted our friends, and went home to tell our boys, who were heartbroken. Our oldest son told us that he may never be able to stop crying. 

When we got to the hospital later that afternoon, the staff was so gracious and helpful. The doctors prepared me that it may take my body up to three days to deliver our daughter. They induced labor that night. My husband and I opened our Bibles that evening to continue with our reading plan, and we were awed at the Lord’s sovereignty and grace. Our passage was from John 11 where Jesus wept over Lazarus. How kind our Savior was to remind us that Jesus wept just as we were weeping! Jesus wept over Lazarus even when He knew that he was about to raise Him from the dead! We were comforted deeply.

I woke up around 1am with very intense contractions. I labored quietly, praying and listening to a playlist of my favorite worship songs. I prayed so hard that God would enable me to deliver our daughter without surgery. Because we had prepared ourselves for this to be a very long process, I labored quietly to try to let Josh sleep. As my contractions intensified and became almost unbearable, my water broke. I had Josh get the nurse and she came to check me and she got our doctor. 

At 6:31am, on March 17, 2020, with just a few pushes, we welcomed our precious daughter, Lydia Alice Tweito, into the world. She was so tiny, still, and quiet. We were awed at God’s creation. She was so perfectly formed in every way, from her tiny ears and nose down to her ten sweet toes. We spent several hours with her, holding her, reading Scripture, praying, crying, taking pictures. Our nurses and doctors were amazing throughout this process. They made little molds of her feet and helped us take more pictures. We wept as we said goodbye to her little, precious body. 

Our Lydia Alice was name after the Acts 16 account of Lydia. 

“One who heard us was a woman named Lydia, from the city of Thyatira, a seller of purple goods, who was a worshiper of God. The Lord opened her heart to pay attention to what was said by Paul. And after she was baptized and her household as well, she urged us saying, ‘if you have judged me to be faithful to the Lord, come to my house and stay.’ And she prevailed upon us.” Acts 16: 14-15. 

Her middle name, Alice, comes from my husband’s grandmother who we know to be a godly woman, faithful in prayer. We prayed our Lydia would be follower of Christ and faithful to our Lord. While our prayers weren’t answered in the way we had imagined, our Lydia is now in the presence of God, and that had been our greatest hope for her life! Our God is good!

I’m reminded of how, on the day I found out I was pregnant with her, I was comforted by the passage in 1 Thessalonians. I was not the one who died during this delivery as I had feared, but the words that comforted my soul then, in my imagined fear, are no less comforting to me in the actual circumstance of our daughter’s death. 

Our Lydia is alive with God! Because of Lydia’s life and death, our hope in heaven seems even more real and sweet. We eagerly long for the day where we will stand alongside our daughter worshipping our Savior for eternity!

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My husband Josh and I live in South Carolina. We have three sons on earth and one daughter in heaven. I love spending time with my family, warm weather, coke zero, and cooking.

We would be honored to share your story as a Hope Mom on our blog. On Saturdays we feature Hope Moms’ stories in order to showcase God’s faithfulness even in the midst of such deep sorrow. If you would like to have your story shared on our blog for this purpose, learn more and submit here.

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