Hymns of Hope: Oh the Deep, Deep Love of Jesus

Many of the hymns were born out of immense sorrow. In this series, we will examine these songs of old, discover the circumstances behind when they were written, and find comfort in the lyrics that so powerfully point us to the hope of Christ.

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“The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases; His mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; great is your faithfulness.” Lamentations 3:22-23

Oh the deep, deep love of Jesus
Vast, unmeasured, boundless, free
Rolling as a mighty ocean
In its fullness over me
Underneath me, all around me
Is the current of Your love
Leading onward, leading homeward
To Your glorious rest above
Oh the deep, deep love
All I need and trust
Is the deep, deep love of Jesus

August 31, 2018. I’ll never forget that date. During a routine anatomy scan at 20 weeks pregnant, we found out that baby Eades #2 was another girl! We also found out that she had some life threatening abnormalities. A genetic screening a week later came back positive for Trisomy 18. She was deemed “incompatible with life.”

Sarabeth Marie Eades was born full-term on the morning of January 18th. She was breathing on her own with minimal assistance, she weighed 3 pounds 13 ounces, and was 16.5 inches long. After spending four nights in the hospital with us, we were able to bring her home on January 22nd.

The evening of Tuesday, January 23rd, she was admitted to the PICU when her little body started to fail. And on Wednesday, January 24th, sweet Sarabeth slipped peacefully from our arms into the arms of Jesus. There in the hospital room, as we loved her through her last breath, the Love of Jesus filled the room. He knelt in front of us and gently received her spirit. He wrapped us in His loving arms and filled our hearts with hope even as they were breaking.

Oh the deep, deep love of Jesus
Spread His praise from shore to shore
How He came to pay our ransom
Through the saving cross He bore
How He watches o’er His loved ones
Those He died to make His own
How for them He’s interceding
Pleading now before the throne
Oh the deep, deep love
All I need and trust
Is the deep, deep love of Jesus.

In the hospital after Sarabeth passed, we were given a keepsake box.  One of the items inside was a small, empty bottle.  

I was immediately reminded of the verse in Psalm 56:8: “You have kept count of my tossing; put my tears in your bottle.” I filled that small bottle with water and placed it on Sarabeth’s shelf in our living room.

It is a gentle reminder.
Jesus sees.
Jesus cares.
Jesus weeps with me. 
Jesus intercedes for me.
And Jesus tenderly gathers each and every tear I shed and keeps track of them.

This can be so comforting if I choose to let it. I have a choice. I can either focus on the tears and drown in them, or I can focus on the One who catches and collects them—the One who validates my pain, who is with me in my suffering, who offers more hope and healing than any other source, the One who wraps me in His love.

In her book Mending Tomorrow: Choosing Hope, Finding Wholeness, Alyssa Quilala writes: “Coming to know how God feels about our pain is the biggest reason we’ll ever find to trust Him.” My Jesus meets me in my pain. My Jesus weeps with me. He intercedes for me before the Father. My Jesus bears my pain, and that is part of what makes Him so trustworthy.

Oh the deep, deep love of Jesus
Far surpassing all the rest
It’s an ocean full of blessing
In the midst of every test
Oh the deep, deep love of Jesus
Mighty Savior, precious Friend
You will bring us home to glory
Where Your love will never end
Oh the deep, deep love
All I need and trust
Is the deep, deep love of Jesus

“He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.” Psalm 147:3

This whole journey with Sarabeth—from the moment we got her diagnosis to the moment she left this earth—has brought me closer to Jesus than I ever imagined would be possible. Isn’t grief and pain and loss suppose to make me angry at God and blame Him for causing or allowing it? Aren’t I suppose to feel betrayed that He didn’t answer our prayers and question His trustworthiness? Though I struggled with feelings of abandonment and anger early on, I found that as I yielded to the overwhelming love of Jesus those emotions and that fear could not find any foothold to take root.

This song, O the Deep, Deep Love of Jesus, resonates deeply with me in my grief—especially the line, “Underneath me, all around me, is the current of your love.” That is what I experienced most through all of this with Sarabeth. Everywhere I turned, I ran into the strong current of Jesus’ love fully enveloping me, and it was such a comfort and life line. That is what ultimately kept me from believing the feelings and lies that God was punishing me or abandoning me.  I couldn’t get away from or deny His overwhelming love for me.

I can’t explain it, but the peace and hope I had from the very first moment opened my eyes to the depth of the goodness of God and the deep, deep love of Jesus. That brought healing to my heart. My heart has been broken over the loss of my sweet baby girl, but it has now been restored to a place of deeper faith, peace, hope, and trust. My heart knows God’s goodness, faithfulness, and love. My heart trusts God.

Though I wrestled with thoughts that God had abandoned me, that He was punishing me, and that He was untrustworthy, unloving, unfaithful, or judgmental, I found instead that He used this time of intense loss and grief to show so clearly me His love, goodness, faithfulness, and trustworthiness.

There are questions that cannot be answered. But amid the perplexity, God’s promises and love never fail. And I am full of gratitude and worship.

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Abigail is mama to her toddler daughter and to Sarabeth who went to be with Jesus seven days after her birth in January 2018. She and her husband, Chad, live in Berea, KY on the family farm where they raise cattle. In addition to being a stay-at-home-mom and teaching piano part-time, Abigail blogs on Facebook and Instagram at A Healing Gratitude where her desire is to share Sarabeth’s story in a way that highlights the goodness and love of God and demonstrate how gratitude can lead to greater healing.

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