He Holds Your Faith

You always wonder how you would react in a tragedy. Would you lose it? Would your faith be strong enough? Would you fall and not get up? All these unknowns made me fearful. Fearful of what I knew could happen. From reading the Bible, I knew we were not promised a life without hardship. Actually we were promised persecution and suffering (2 Timothy 3:12, 1 Peter 5:8-10).

Only, my life was free of hardship. I had wonderful family and friends. I had achieved every goal I ever set. The Holy Spirit made my paths clear, and I happily followed. I was blessed. But in the back of my mind I always had that anxiety—when will my hardship hit? I felt I was somehow tip-toeing in my perfect life. The sun was shining on me, but I saw storm clouds in the distance. My faith had never really been tested. Was my faith strong enough to weather the storm? Was I strong enough?

The storm did hit. It was in that dark ultrasound room at 34 weeks that my perfect glass life came crashing down. All the plans I made, all my hopes, and my vision for the future were shattered in that room. It brought me to my knees—but on my knees is where the Lord found me.

Going home to wait for induction the next morning was the hardest thing I’ve ever done. Labor was looming in front of me. How would I endure this? What did I need to do to be strong enough to get through this? God swiftly showed me that I needed to do nothing. He scooped me up in His comforting arms. I cried out for help, and He did not wait one millisecond to fill me with peace. I didn’t do anything. He not only carried me and my husband, but He carried our faith as well. All those questions of whether my faith was strong enough didn’t matter. My faith didn’t need to be strong enough; He effortlessly held my faith along with my brokenness. He is the perfecter of faith (Hebrews 12:2). I didn’t need to do anything.

“When the righteous cry for help, the Lord hears and delivers them out of all their troubles. The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit.” |
Psalm 34:17-18

He held me through the entire labor and delivery. It went so much smoother and quicker than I ever imagined. So many people were praying hard for me. We held our beautiful daughter, Ginny’s, body and wept. In that moment, we knew Jesus was holding her in heaven. That’s all we needed to know in that moment. A day that was supposed to be filled with fear, pain, and dread was filled with love, peace, and healing. The Holy Spirit was in that hospital room with us, and He has been with us ever since. When my heart is so heavy with grief, He lifts it in love. When I’m not sure where to go next, He lights a path.

“Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for You are with me; Your rod and Your staff, they comfort me.”
Psalms 23:4

God doesn’t always “fix” our difficult situations in the way we would like, but His presence gets us through those situations. In this broken world, we will undoubtedly face hardship. We want to ask, “How could you bring me down this stormy path?” He responds by wrapping us in a blanket under His huge umbrella and walking us through the storm. We eventually see the beautiful view on the other side of the storm and thank Him.

“But He said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.’ Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong.”
2 Corinthians 12:8-10

The Lord is rebuilding my hope. Although I know He has a future for me, I also know that future may not always be free of suffering. This experience has taught me not to be fearful of what is ahead because no matter what, He will be with me.

“I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble, but take heart! I have overcome the world.”
John 16:33

“May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, so that by the power of the Holy Spirit you may abound in hope.”
Romans 12:13

Aimee lives in Cary, North Carolina with her husband Daniel. They moved there from Oklahoma in January 2018. Aimee is Hope Mom to her beautiful daughter Ginny Hope who was born February 26, 2019. She and Daniel are learning to trust God and move forward in their grief day by day.

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