Why Are We “Hope Mommies”?

In October of 2010 Blair and Erin Cushman, while in labor with their first child, lost the heartbeat of their daughter Gwendolyn and were rushed in for an emergency c-section. Gwendolyn was revived and lived in the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit for 36 hours before passing away. While in the hospital and following Gwendolyn’s death, Erin and Blair were overwhelmed with love by a community of friends and strangers who were informed of their loss. Many were praying, sending emails, texts, and messages via Facebook, sent financial assistance, provided meals, cleaned the house, and set up memorial funds, thereby providing emotional, spiritual, and physical support for the grieving couple. You can read more of their story HERE.

Blair and Erin were so moved by the support they received and the encouragement of fellow Christian believers. Having a solid community of people surrounding them, and faith in Jesus Christ, who gives hope to the hopeless, has continually sustained them in the months that have followed Gwendolyn’s death. Having been deeply impacted by their daughter’s death, but desiring to have beauty rise from her ashes, they established Hope Mommies™. We asked Erin to share why she chose the term “Hope Mom” for herself and this ministry. Below is her response.

When Gwendolyn died at just 36 hours old, I was unknowingly, but immediately, ushered into a subgroup of my culture. I had not realized how many women had babies die in their womb, in their arms, in their homes, or in the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit. The number is one in four, in fact. According to the American Pediatric Association, one in four moms will experience loss. And once you have said goodbye to your beloved child, these women and families seem to come out of the woodwork all around you.

Once my eyes were opened to this immense grieving community, I began to hear terms like “Angel Mom”, “Babylost Mom”, or “Heaven Mommies”. I had a difficult time with those classifications and others that are like it. I did not believe Gwendolyn was an angel, or that she was lost. The Bible has great clarity regarding what happens at death, the distinctions between angels and humans, and how we can have peace and hope while grieving.

I mourned my daughter’s parting from this earth, but believed wholeheartedly that she was in the presence of God (2 Samuel 12:19-23). She and I both share in the grace of Christ—the undeserved, unearned kindness of God to give us salvation (Ephesians 2:8-9).

Biblical hope is not a flimsy, passing thing. Biblical hope has a foundation and a surety to it (Romans 8:24-25; Hebrews 6:19; 1 Peter 1:3). To say that “I hope I see Gwendolyn again,” is not wishful thinking; it’s a blood-bought promise from Jesus Christ. A few months after Gwendolyn “fell asleep” (1 Corinthians 15:20), I was sharing with a friend that I didn’t like the new cultural titles bestowed on us. We did not have angels, we had children. Children that we hoped to see again, because of Jesus Christ. And because of that hope-filled confidence, I do not grieve despairingly.

We coined the term, “Hope Mommies”.

I am a Hope Mom. I am a part of a brave community of Hope Mommies, who live on this side of eternity, waiting until the day we can see our babies again.

For additional resources on Heaven and infant death, see www.hopemommies.org/why-we-have-hope. Randy Alcorn’s book Heaven and John MacArthur’s Safe in the Arms of God are excellent, and in my opinion, belong on every believer’s bookshelf.