Grieving with Children: Remembering Together
For those who have experienced the loss of a child following the birth of other children, it can be so hard to navigate your own grief while also shepherding the thoughts, feelings, and reactions of your other children. This week on the blog, Hope Mom, Calli Williams, is sharing her experience on helping her children grieve with hope.
Walking alongside my children as they have been given the roles of grieving siblings has been one of the hardest parts of my own personal grief journey. But it has also been the most rewarding. They have taught me and my husband so much more than I think we have taught them.
Our family finds so much healing when we take our grief and pour it into remembrances and celebrations of our precious Hope Baby. It is a huge way to really let our children take part and bring happiness to their hearts.
We have organized larger family celebrations and there have been special impromptu occasions pop up. Here are just a few ways our family has celebrated our Hope Baby.
One of our living children’s favorite activities is to go to the store and pick out beautiful new flowers to take and arrange at their sister’s resting place. I let them each take part in picking out the color scheme and decor, and then as a family we go and decorate. Would it be just how I would do it or how I would like it? Not really. Does it bring them joy and the feeling of accomplishment to be able to take part with their sister in a small capacity? Absolutely!
Every year, my husband takes our daughters to the Daddy/Daughter Dance at our church. This year, a special moment for them was to go take our Hope Baby roses together like he had given our living daughters when he picked them up for their date. He then took a picture with them, and all of his daughters were represented.
On our Hope Baby’s Birth/Glory Day we had a special family celebration where we took cupcakes and sang happy birthday at her resting place. We read Scripture and talked about the special moments we will always remember about the day we held her in our arms. We then let our living children write a message to their sister on a balloon and had a balloon release.
When our family hears of a new Hope Mom, we locate or purchase a Hope Box to give her and our family prays over the box together for the family who is beginning the same journey we are on. They like the idea of giving in honor of their sister.
Throughout our home, if we have pictures or names of the children being used as decoration, we make sure that our Hope Baby is represented as well.
There are so many different ways you can allow your living children to participate in remembering your Hope Baby. The most simple activities can be so grandiose in their minds. These are precious moments to always center around God and point their hearts towards Christ.
“But Jesus said, “Let the little children come to me and do not hinder them, for to such belongs the kingdom of heaven.”
-Matthew 19:14
This post originally appeared on the blog on April 20, 2016
- Calli
Hope Mom to Blair
Calli Williams is a passionate Christ follower. Calli is married to Jared, and has six children: Gavyn, Grant, Bertie, Gwyneth, Blair, who has been in Glory since November 2014, and Brynne, who joined their family in November 2015. She enjoys spending time with her family, reading when she can steal a quiet moment, using her creativity to craft, and splurging on anything chocolate.
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