Motherhood and My Years of New Year Reflections

For the past couple of years, I have decided not to focus on trying to accomplish resolutions for the year but rather reflect on my year and find a focus word or phrase as a theme or point of focus to bring before the Lord during the upcoming year.

I was first encouraged, through a friend, to ask the Lord for wisdom in reflecting on my year and insight into what I should focus on bringing before the Lord during the next year. She told me about her experience with trusting the Lord with a phrase or thought throughout the year and how she wanted me to join her. I don’t always approach new ideas with the best attitude so I walked away unsure how to approach this “homework.” But I began journaling and praying, asking the Lord for a meaningful focus for my year. That January I felt selfish and somewhat at the end of my rope—I wanted a baby. Only a few months prior, I had had a miscarriage after several unsuccessful years of trying to start a family, and I didn’t know what do to. So when I thought of my year and what I hoped for the next year, all I could think was, It’s the year of the baby. Either the Lord would open my womb or my husband and I would begin the journey of adoption—both of which would require great trust and bravery. So I confessed my lack of creativity to my friend and she encouraged me to embrace it with faith—to seek the Lord, that year, for wisdom in starting our family and to ask others in my life to pray accordingly. It didn’t take long for the Lord to reveal His plan because in the beginning of March that year I found out I was pregnant with our “new blessing” baby.

When the next year rolled around, I was exhausted with a newborn. But I was again challenged to reflect and decide on something to bring before the Lord that year. I confessed to my church small group that the only idea I could muster was that it had to be the year of “somethings got to give.” So as I crawled into the year exhausted and looking for a joy that my husband couldn’t fill and a brand-new-so-loved-and-prayed-for baby couldn’t fill, I knew that the Lord was the only One my heart and eyes needed to seek, but it just seemed like so much work. As the months wore on, my heart remained hard, and all I could do was confess my frustrations with life to my small group of closest friends. Truth and wisdom were spoken in love to me from those women God has in my life, and with accountability and love I was able to confess the sin I had been allowing to take hold of my heart. Little did I know, it was my own sin and selfishness that was what “needed to give” for me to walk in more joy, to free my heart to worship more deeply, and to forge paths to walking with a less selfish vision. As my selfishness washed away, my heart had freedom to rejoice in Him.

“But may all who seek You rejoice and be glad in You; may those who love Your salvation say continually, ‘Great is the Lord!”
Psalm 40:16, emphasis added

Glory in His holy name; let the hearts of those who seek the Lord rejoice!”
Psalm 105:3, emphasis added

I will take January’s to reflect on the previous, pray, and ask the Lord to lead me in my reflections about what I could bring before Him for this year. As with previous years I have some thoughts already impressed upon my heart, but I am going to take the time to ask the Lord for His wisdom as I walk into this New Year. Would you consider joining me?

I am a wife to Phil and mama to two babies. My first baby I lost to miscarriage in 2014 and my daughter, Maylee who I have the joy of homeschooling. We live in Flower Mound, TX. I serve as Hope Mommies Creative Director and I am a freelance Graphic Designer.

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