What hasn’t changed

Hi friend,

Thanks for being here and walking through this conversation on identity with me over the last few weeks. We’ve talked about not recognizing ourselves anymore and about who we are now. And after everything we’ve walked through together, there’s still one question that rises in light of it all.

If I’ve changed… and if I don’t fully recognize myself anymore… then what is still true?

Because when so much feels uncertain, our hearts begin searching for something steady to stand on.

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What Hasn’t Changed

Creative conversion of a woman holding a shard of broken mirror and eyes from another exposure artistic conversion

After loss, it can feel like everything about you has shifted, such as the way you think, the way you feel, and the way you move through the world. Even your sense of identity can feel unfamiliar, like you’re trying to find your footing in a life you didn’t choose, and these changes can leave you wondering if anything is solid and unchanging.

The answer is yes, there is still much that is solid and unchanging. Thanks be to God that what is most true about you hasn’t changed at all.

Who you are in Christ is not undone because your baby died. It is not dependent on how steady you feel or how clearly you can answer the question, “Who am I now?” If you’ve given your life to the Lord, then your identity was never rooted in the parts of your life that could be taken from you. It has always been rooted in Him.

Scripture reminds us of this again and again. 2 Corinthians 5:17 tells us that if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. Colossians 3:3 reminds us that your life is hidden with Christ in God. That means even when you feel lost, you are not lost to Him. Your life is held, secure, and known, because you are His.

Romans 9:25 says, “Those who were not my people I will call ‘my people,’ and her who was not beloved I will call ‘beloved.’” That is the heart of God. He draws near to the ones who feel unseen, uncertain, and unsure of where they belong, and He names them His own. He calls you beloved, not because of what you have done or how you feel, but because of His unchanging love. Grief may change you, but it does not redefine you. It doesn’t get the final word over who you are. God does.

And as you walk through grief, He is not only holding your identity secure, He is also shaping you. 2 Corinthians 3:18 tells us that we are being transformed into His likeness from one degree of glory to another. That kind of transformation is slow, and often hard to see in the moment. It happens as you keep turning to Him, even on the days when you feel overwhelmed and your tears won’t stop. It happens as you keep bringing your questions, your fears, and your grief before Him again and again.

This means that even in your grief, something is growing. Not because grief is good, but because God is good in the middle of it. He is not wasting your pain. He is using it to draw you closer to Him, to deepen your dependence on Him, and to shape you into someone who reflects His heart more clearly. This doesn’t erase your pain, or make sense of your baby’s death, or make grief easier to hold, but it does mean your suffering is being used for His glory.

And over time, you may begin to notice it. I pray you’ll see a tenderness that wasn’t there before, a deeper compassion for others, a greater awareness of His presence in your life, and a faith that feels more rooted in what is true. 2 Corinthians 4:16 reminds us that though our outer self is wasting away, our inner self is being renewed day by day. Even on the days when you don’t see it or feel it, God is at work renewing you.

You are not who you were before, and you cannot go back to who you once were, but you are not without hope. You are still His, and He is still at work. He will be faithful to complete what He has begun in you, not by your strength, but by His. And as you keep walking forward, even in weakness, you can rest knowing your identity is secure, your life is held, and your hope is anchored in Him alone.

Because He lives, I hope,
Jennie Parks
Executive Director

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Thank you for walking through this series with me. I pray it has helped give language to some of what you’ve been feeling and gently pointed you back to what is true.

If this series has encouraged you, would you share it with one friend who might need it, too?

If you need something to sit with today, You Say by Lauren Daigle is a tender reminder of what God says is true about you, even when your feelings say otherwise.

Jennie is the Executive Director for Hope Mommies. She and her husband Brian live in Oregon and have four children together— Trenton, Paige who has been in Heaven with Jesus since 2010, Mason, and Cora. If you were to knock on her front door today, you’d find her in something comfortable drinking a hot cup of tea, while trying to figure out how to balance all the things that make up a life. She enjoys spending time in God’s word, fresh flowers, board games with her kids, cooking, and evening walks in her neighborhood. She adores being a new creation in Christ and prays she reflects Him well on this earth.