An Invitation to Keep Christ at the Center

We made it through the holidays, friends. Maybe they were heavier than you hoped they’d be, filled with quiet reminders of the little one who’s missing. Or maybe there were moments of sweetness you didn’t expect, and those surprised you too. Either way, here we are on the other side of the celebrations and I am proud of us. By God’s grace, we are still standing, still breathing, and still moving forward.

As the calendar turned last week, does it now feel like we are watching the world rush into a new year full of goals and resolutions? So many are chasing new habits, new routines, and new versions of themselves. New year, new you, right? And once again, if you are a grieving mom, it can feel like everyone else is moving forward while you are standing still. So instead of asking you to resolve to do more or be better this year, I want to gently invite you to something more meaningful.

Keep Christ at the center of your life.

Most of us can see ways we fall short and know we could do a better job loving our husbands, children, co-workers, and neighbors. This longing often extends beyond relationships into our health and habits, too. We want to take better care of our bodies, minds, and souls. We want to do a new thing, be a new mom, and live like a new woman. But grief complicates our longing for “new.”

For some of you, the turn of the calendar feels like a rope you want to grab with both hands. You want to run far and fast from the year behind you. This was the year your baby died. It was the year that changed your motherhood forever. You want to sprint into what’s next and reach for the hope a new year seems to promise to you. Maybe this new year holds hope for less heartbreak. Maybe it holds hope for restored joy. Maybe it holds hope for some easing of the heavy grip of grief. You long to feel like you did before all of this happened. 

But maybe that isn’t you at all. Maybe you don’t want to watch the year change because it feels like leaving your baby behind. It feels like turning another page without them because now there is even more distance from the day you saw their heartbeat on the ultrasound, or held their precious body within yours. More days have passed since you said goodbye than the number of days you actually had with them on this earth, and that breaks your heart.

Maybe you don’t want something new. Maybe you want what you had. Maybe you want your baby back. Maybe you want time to slow down and to stop marching forward without your consent. Maybe you want someone to say what you already feel deep in your bones, that this is not the way it was supposed to be. Oh, Hope Mom, this ache is such evidence of love. And if this is you, dare I say that you, too, are longing for change.

At the heart of our desire for change is a deeper truth. We know, even if only dimly, that something is not as it should be. Scripture tells us that God has made Himself known, yet we live in a fallen world where sin and suffering have fractured what was once whole (Romans 1:20). Our longing for “new” is really a longing for things to be made right again.

The Bible tells us that the change we need most is not a few better habits, but a completely new heart. Jesus says we must be born again (John 3:3). God promises to take hearts of stone and turn them into hearts of flesh (Ezekiel 36:26). This kind of transformation does not come from effort or discipline. It comes by grace, through faith in Jesus Christ alone (Ephesians 2:8–9).

For a grieving mom, this truth matters deeply. Loss already reminds you how little control you truly have. You did not choose this pain. You can’t fix it by trying harder or planning better. And yet, God meets you here. He doesn’t ask you to clean up your grief before coming to Him. He draws near and invites you to depend on Him as your strength and refuge (Psalm 18:1–2) in the messy middle, where your bereaved mama heart is groaning and loathing the brokenness of this world.

As believers, and Hope Moms, we are also being changed gradually as we follow Christ. Scripture tells us that as we look to Him, we are transformed from one degree of glory to another (2 Corinthians 3:18). This change is not rushed or forced, but rather the slow, faithful work of the Spirit over time, as we abide in His love. Sometimes, keeping Christ at the center looks like opening your Bible even when the words feel flat, sometimes it looks like whispering His name when prayer feels impossible, and sometimes it looks like letting others carry you toward Him when you are too weary to walk there yourself. 

The world tells us that resolutions can make us new. But only God can do that. He is the One who says, “Behold, I am doing a new thing” (Isaiah 43:19). He is the One who promises, “I am making all things new” (Revelation 21:5). He is the One who seals us with His Spirit and marks us as His own (Ephesians 1:13).

New year, new you is not a shallow promise for the Christian and Hope Mom. In Christ, it is a resurrection promise. One day, we will be fully made new and transformed to be like Him (1 John 3:2; Philippians 3:21). Until that day, we walk by faith, holding both grief and hope, trusting that God is faithful to finish the work He has begun.

So as this new year begins, hear this grace-filled invitation. You do not have to run into the new year or resolve to be stronger. You don’t have to leave your grief behind. Just keep Christ at the center and let Him meet you in your sorrow. Let Him carry you forward and continue the healing work He’s already started in you, while you remember that moving forward does not mean leaving your baby behind. Love does not disappear with the changing of a year, and your motherhood to your Hope Baby has not ended. You are still, and will always be, their mom.

Because He lives, I hope,
Jennie Parks

Jennie is the Executive Director for Hope Mommies. She and her husband Brian live in Oregon and have four children together— Trenton, Paige who has been in Heaven with Jesus since 2010, Mason, and Cora. If you were to knock on her front door today, you’d find her in something comfortable drinking a hot cup of tea, while trying to figure out how to balance all the things that make up a life. She enjoys spending time in God’s word, fresh flowers, board games with her kids, cooking, and evening walks in her neighborhood. She adores being a new creation in Christ and prays she reflects Him well on this earth.