The Tapestry of Grief

People often ask why bad things happen. Too often, well-meaning people try to comfort those who mourn with cliché answers about why they are enduring misfortune.

“God is preparing you for something big.”
“Everything happens for a reason.”
“God gives His hardest battles to the strongest soldiers.”

These comments were always off-putting to me after my dad died in a car accident, again after my firstborn died at 19 weeks in utero, and again after my early miscarriage a few months later. Was I really supposed to think that God orchestrated these deaths just to make me a better person? That always seemed a bit self-centered to me.

We may never get an answer to our “why” on this side of heaven. This world is far from the perfection of Eden, and these bodies are broken and temporary vessels. But God absolutely does use the bad things in our lives for His good, and He can redeem even the darkest of nights for His purposes.

Loss doesn’t guarantee bigger, better things in your life, and it certainly doesn’t give you a pass that says you have met your grief quota for the year. But all things, both good and bad, are transformed by God to work toward His purposes and the good of those who love Him (Romans 8:28). Grief and loss are just one part of a much larger tapestry that is our life—highs and lows all woven together.

Recently, as I was perusing an artist’s Instagram page, I came across a close-up picture of one of her paintings. In that snippet of detail, all I could see were various smudges of dark colors in all different shapes and sizes. It seemed to invoke a dark mood and felt chaotic and unformed. But when the whole picture was in sight, a beautiful bouquet of flowers was revealed. The dark smudges didn’t ruin the picture; instead, they worked in harmony with many smudges of different colors to make the overall image clearer. I believe grief can play a similar role in our lives.

The sorrow you may be experiencing now—the dark smudges in life—work together with the highlights and the mundane moments to create a masterpiece. Zoomed in, those dark smudges may seem to serve no purpose, and frankly, can be just ugly. But with the entire picture in sight, one can see that the contrast of the dark smudges is used to further highlight the beauty of the flowers. The dark smudges in our lives make us appreciate every experience painted in a lighter hue, and gives the Holy Spirit an even brighter platform from which to shine through.

The dark smudges you have experienced, the grayest of days and the darkest of nights, are just a part of the masterpiece that is your life, showcasing the Light that is within you. While you are up close and personal with grief, it may seem pointless and ugly. But I pray that as more colors are added, and you are able to step back to see more of your life painting, the dark smudges enable you, and everyone around you, to see more clearly the beauty of the flowers in the middle of your masterpiece.

“For we are God’s masterpiece. He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so we can do the good things He planned for us long ago.”
Ephesians 2:10 (NLT)

“Even the darkness will not be dark to You; the night will shine like the day, for darkness is as light to you.”
Psalm 139:12

*The artwork featured in this post is by Anita Felix

Sarah Padilla is a stay-at-home mom and a part-time dance teacher. She and her husband Kyle live in McKinney, Texas with their toddler son Kirk and have two babes in heaven.

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