25 Years Later
It can often seem as though you will always be drowning beneath the acute pain of loss. However, while our grief never truly ends, it doesn’t always look and feel the same way. In this series, our writers speak from where they are now in their grief, _________ years later. Throughout this series, you will find testimonies of how grief changes us, and how God uses our heartache to shape us into a greater reflection of His image.
Twenty-five. Wow! I had to sit with that for a minute. Or several minutes. Twenty-five years since my son was stillborn. That’s almost half of my life.
It’s hard to imagine that on December 15 it will be 25 years since we gave away the trucks and tractors wrapped in Christmas paper, waiting under the tree. 25 years since we stood at a gravesite on a cold, windy day. 25 years of not getting to see my son grow into a man.
A twenty-fifth wedding anniversary is usually marked with celebration—and silver. The couple can often be heard saying, “Here’s to many more! See you at 50!”
How do we mark the milestone of burying a child 25 years ago? I know how I will do it. The same way the married couple does—with hope! I will celebrate the hope I have of seeing my son again—in heaven. Jesus’ death on the cross for my sins has guaranteed that hope for me.
How has living without my son for 25 years marked and changed me? For the better. I have learned to trust the Lord with every fiber of my being. I know that trusting the Lord is my hope. Trusting the Lord with my hurt, fears, and wounding is where I find my peace and joy. It’s the only place.
May the God of hope fill you with all peace and joy as you trust in Him so that you will overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit. -Romans 15:13
By putting my trust in the Lord, hope overflows in my life—regardless of my circumstances.
During the past 25 years, I have also seen the Lord’s faithfulness. I have learned that He is faithful no matter what my circumstances might be. The Lord’s degree of faithfulness is not measured by whether things in this life go as I would like them to.
When I had to act on behalf of my daughters for their safety or well-being and so they would grow into loving, responsible adults, they didn’t always like or understand it. As children (and especially as teenagers,) they couldn’t always see the benefits of my rules or decisions, but they had to abide by them because I was their parent. I had their best interest in mind—even though they didn’t understand it at the time.
It is often like that with our heavenly Father. We don’t always understand the way He works in our lives or all of the trials He allows, but we know He loves us and will see us through the difficult times. Because He is faithful, we can trust that He will work things out for our good. Our pain can be used for His purposes.
And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to His purpose. -Romans 8:28
Burying a son 25 years ago has made me sympathetic to other parents who have lost a child—whether they knew them in the womb for a few weeks or walked with them on this earth for many years. I understand their loss and their pain. And through my faith in the Lord, I can come alongside them and offer them the same hope I have in Christ. I also know the difficulty of conceiving, and the hurt, anxiety, and fear that often accompanies the longing and heartache.
Being a Hope Mom for 25 years has taught me that if I can survive losing a child, I can survive anything with the Lord. I can continue my life with humor, joy, compassion, and excitement for tomorrow. I know that being angry or fearful is not how the Lord wants me to live, so I let Him gently lead me—through prayer, worship, and His Word—into a life marked by being an overcomer.
Twenty-five years later. I am not marked by anxiety, despair, or fear. Because Jesus is my Savior, my life is marked by knowing that God is good, faithful, and loving. I am full of peace and joy, and my hope overflows.
Dear Hope Mommy, if you are struggling in your journey to know God is all of the things I know Him to be, please reach out and let others help you start on a journey towards greater trust and deeper hope, so that when year 25 rolls around, you can lift your hands and say, “Yes, Lord! You are good, and I worship you!”
Twenty-five years later. Wow! It seems like a moment ago.
- Shelly
Hope Mom to Zachary Robert
Shelly D. Templin is an author, speaker and blogger that shares a message of hope—with humor. She has three daughters, a son-in-law, and a granddaughter. Shelly lives in Texas with her husband, Jack, of 29 years and their two dogs.
Are you a writer who would like to join the blog team? Learn more and apply here.
Monica Givens
June 26, 2022 (1:28 pm)
Thank You So Mubch For Hope