God Weeps With Us

As with most things in life, parenting is a balancing act. Some call it picking your battles—and those battles, in the world of parenting, often revolve around how much candy I will let my son eat and how many crocodile tear whimpers I can tolerate after three days of no napping.

This conversation was a different kind of battle. It’s a delicate dance to let your two-year-old grow into his own ideas of things while also gently stretching his worldview and encouraging him to see the bigger picture. A few weeks back, we were discussing how God feels. When I asked what he thought about God, he answered right away, “God is sad.” 

My immediate knee-jerk response was, “Oh, son! No! God is….” but I stopped myself. He was right. There are times when God is sad. 

Our faith journey is all about walking with God. I view Him as a tour guide, companion, best friend, mentor, and parent all in one. The complexities of God are endless, and in the journey of life, He pauses often to show us this and teach us that, bringing our attention to the things we come across along the way. “See this sunset? I take delight in showing off my creativity, beckoning your minds to the heavens, and stealing your earthly thoughts to the realm above. Do you feel this pain? I too am incredibly grieved to see such injustice showing up in the courtroom, the church, the political agendas. Now what are you going to do about it?”

But my two-year-old? I want to teach him that God is good, that God has a good plan for his future, that God is strong and mighty and loving and powerful. But he is right, God can also be sad. I couldn’t tell him that God isn’t. 

My son has lived for eighteen months in a family mourning the loss of his sister. We have struggled to remember that God is good. We have nearly drowned in our sorrow. We are sad, tears flow readily, and we don’t get out too much. It’s a sad place, here in our home. But it’s like he taught a lesson to me that day—reminding me that God is sad too. 

God, in His most perfect plan, ordained Abby’s life for 39 weeks. Four days prior to her birth, He allowed death to sweep her away. That is our devastating reality. But God is grieved over the loss of our baby girl, too. His heart mourns with us. His eyes are weeping. He is saddened because the world we live in is full of death, brokenness, tears, and pain. 

When we seek the heart of God and ask Him to show us His heart, He is faithful to do that. He is a bereaved Father who knows the pain of death—He knows what it feels like when death takes your child. He understands how devastated we are—when all we can do is look around at the sad pieces of our life, unable to imagine how to put them together again. But God knows. He loves to pick up the pieces and restore. I’m holding onto that.

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Of all the roles I’ve ever held (ballerina, first mate, missionary, teacher, founder) these are my favorites: daughter of the King, wife to Daniel and mommy to Isaac, Eli and their sister Abby in heaven.

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