Brittany’s Story

I still remember the morning I found out I was expecting. It was something Kory and I had been trying for, even though it really didn’t take us long. Kory was at work two hours away with limited phone service, and had told me they would probably be working real late. As soon as I took that pregnancy test and saw it was positive, I didn’t know what to do with myself. I knew there was no way I could tell Kory the news in just a text message, so I started browsing on Pinterest some fun ways to tell the new dad.

Once I had decided on something, I went to Walmart, and found myself looking through the baby stuff. I imagined what it would be like to bring home a baby—how we’d get to plan birthday parties and watch that little blessing grow-up. I truly couldn’t wait for the big moments, or the little ones that I still think are just as sweet.

My pregnancy with Issac was easy. I had the typical heartburn, Braxton Hicks, and so much swelling (I was my biggest in the heat of the summer in Texas). However, after being diagnosed as a Type 1 Diabetic my junior year of high school, my pregnancy was also monitored more, and I had more sonograms, which were my favorite part of the doctor visits anyways. I decided to do a 4D sonogram and get a bear with his heartbeat in it at 30 weeks, and I remember just sitting and staring at those pictures, knowing that in about eight weeks (type 1 diabetics usually deliver their babies early) we’d be family of three.

After the sonogram, I loaded up to make the six-hour drive home for my last baby shower with friends and family. It was decorated beautifully; there were onesies with Issac’s initials and name. As I opened every gift, I imagined him wearing all the clothes, and all the memories and messes he’d make in them as well.

On Thursday July 6, 2017, I went in for my weekly check-up with my doctor; I was 33 weeks pregnant. As usual, they did a sonogram and Issac looked great. I met with my doctor and he commented on how good everything was looking. We talked about my next appointment—there were no worries or concerns. I left the office feeling proud of how I had gotten my blood sugar levels lower than they were, and more anxious about our boy joining us.

That Sunday, I started going through all the baby shower gifts, organizing clothes by size, trying to decide where things needed to go, and planning out what I wanted to pack for Issac to wear for his coming home outfit. That night, I went to bed hopeful that I was making progress, but I sure was tired. The next day, I woke up completely miserable. I was in pain, nauseous and with no desire to get out of bed, so I didn’t get up until I knew I was about to throw up. The rest of that day I laid in bed watching tv, trying to take it easy.

I called the doctor’s office, and talked to a nurse who told me that I needed to time my contractions for an hour and call her back. I had absolutely no idea what I was doing. I couldn’t tell when one would end and another one would stop because it felt like the pain was so consistent. The nurse recommended that I go ahead and go to the hospital, just to be safe, and if it wasn’t anything concerning, they would send me home.

As soon as Kory got home from work, I told him my concerns and what the nurse had said, so we quickly packed up stuff for all three of us, put the car-seat in the car, and drove to Midland. We got to the hospital around 9:30pm, and were quickly admitted into labor and delivery. They hooked me up to the fetal monitor to check Issac’s heart rate, and put me on oxygen because it would help improve the efficiency of oxygen getting to the baby. Then the nurses went to call my doctor.

As soon as the doctor arrived, sometime between 10 and 11pm, he did a sonogram and said everything was still looking good. He wanted to continue monitoring Issac’s heart rate, due to it occasionally dropping lower. Around 11:30pm the doctor sat down and said there was a possibility that an emergency c-section would happen so the baby’s heart rate could get up, and that the baby may just have to stay in the NICU for a while just from being born early.

At 1:51am, July 11, 2017, our beautiful boy, Issac Kole Cleveland, entered the world. He was blue and not breathing on his own, but thankfully the neonatologist was able to get medicine to him that helped. He was transferred to the NICU in Odessa, and we were left in the hospital room without him. We didn’t know what to think or do. This wasn’t the way that we ever planned for this to happen.

We got updates daily from the doctors at the hospital and doctors at the NICU, sometimes they would be good, and sometimes they needed to improve. When I was finally released, we went to Odessa, and were finally together as a family for the first time since my c-section. Isaac was hooked up to all kinds of machines, and wires were everywhere, making it impossible for either of us to just pick him up and hold him. A day later, the doctor told us that there was no coming back from what had happened. Issac had gone too long without oxygen getting to his brain, and the machines were the only thing keeping him alive.

Together, with our parents and my brother, we went in, held our boy for what would be the first and the last time, took pictures with him, and tearfully said our good-byes. At 11:27pm on Friday July 14, 2017, our boy opened his eyes for the first time and saw Jesus. I felt so much peace. I knew that Issac was in heaven, and would never have to experience the negativity of this world.

We moved back home to be closer to family and friends, and I knew God worked it out for us so that we could be surrounded by people who loved us. I felt and experienced God’s faithfulness in the midst of the 
circumstances surrounding our loss, and I felt comforted. Isaac never had to experience hurt or heartbreak on this earth, but oh how our hearts long for him to be here with us. What a wonderful day it will be when we get to see him again in eternity. 

My name is Brittany Cleveland. I am married to my best friend, Kory. We live in the East Texas area, and I am a 6th grade math teacher. We are parents to our two sweet boys—Issac Kole, who is in heaven, and Konnor Issac, who is here with us. I am the President of the new East Texas Hope Mommies Chapter, and cannot wait to see how the Lord uses this chapter to help other grieving moms.

We would be honored to share your story as a Hope Mom on our blog. On Saturdays we feature Hope Moms’ stories in order to showcase God’s faithfulness even in the midst of such deep sorrow. If you would like to have your story shared on our blog for this purpose, learn more and submit here.